- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
- June 16, 2017 at 4:23 am#43166AnonymousInactive
hi all..I am 100 days sober today, only through God and the program’s help I am able to sit here sober. Today I am struggling with cravings and romanticizing my past use. Ill give you a little history, I never drank or tried any drugs until I was 18 years old. I loved drinking right away and then started using drugs around the same time as well.. when the drinking didnt work anymore for me I started using all sorts of drugs.. my identity according to all around me was a druggie.. I mostly used ecstacy, acid, marijuana and then I started to feel anxious without the drugs so i started taking xanax.. then my xanax dealer introduced me to painkillers and I loved those, they took all my worries away.. when that got to expensive it turned into heroin and I was using painkillers and heroin for almost the last 2 years. I got sober on march 8, 2011.
I went to treatment and am currently going to meetings everyday.. but I am struggling with the fact that I can never use drugs again, I partied alot with all sorts of friends.. and I can say i did have fun in my eyes at least, There were really fun times back then, and i miss them alot. Its like im mourning something.. I went to raves or festivals every weekend and I just loved that culture but I cant do that anymore and that just sucks! :gaah
The last week I have been having some cravings also pertaining specifically to my drug of choice, heroin. They were plentiful in the begining but I was living at my parents house and now im back at my apartment near my college and on my own and near my old dealers place.. I just keep imagining how i would feel if i just did it once more.. i am imagining the good parts of it i know.. and I know I should play the tape and think it through of what will happen.. I could die. I know all these things but I just feel like… right now I could feel so much better, 🙁
Anyone have any advice on what actions i could physically take to help me?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.