Hi all, new to 12 Step National Meetings, been using hard drugs for too long, most recently: quit shooting dope for 17 months (methadone maintenance) but started snorting coke recently……Today though, is a few days without coke and I’m feeling great! the first few days weren’t terrible, but I would have rather been in bed! I seem to repeat this pattern: stay away 6, 7, 8 days then decide it’s “safe” to go to the local bar and have a few drinks (knowing full well that the dealer is always there), which always ends up in me buying something “just for tonight” and tonight ends up being a minimum of a 3 day run…….feeling and looking like crap, 2-3 hours of sleep, drinking too much an having to work the next day. So today I went straight home, but am here alone. I’ll be cool tonight, but when Thursday or Friday rolls around, I know I’ll be “itchin'” to go to the bar for ” a drink or 2″ and the cycle repeats………….and repeats and before you realize it, YEARS have passed by. I can handle the physical “detox” from coke, but it’s the mental thing. Am I fooling myself by hoping I can become one of those guys that can go out on a Friday, drink, do a few lines and Saturday it’s business as usual? Why doesn’t that work for me? It’s not fair!!! I need some help but am not sure how or where!