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    Hi all, I am so sad to be posting here 🙁

    I have been reading all your posts for a while now and I think its time to say hello
    🙂 I am 41 and married with a little boy who is two and a half, both my husband and my son are just gorgeous and you could not hope for a better family. My husband has the occasional drink, one or two a week at most (he is, however concerned with my drinking, but then so am I!).

    I cant exactly remember when I first drank alcohol. I think I was around 15 years old and didn’t really like it but despite that I still drank it when I could … messing around with friends or at parties. I now drink at least 1 bottle of wine a day, I have been drinking at this level for around 20 years, how am I not dead? I dont know! Recently I have noticed more “symptoms” yellowing for the eyes and “liver pain” but I still dont stop. I expect like many of you still drinking you look for symptoms and try to find reasons online why they may be “nothing”, or even compare your symptoms with others and think that “I am not that bad”.

    My worst example of finding a “reason” to drink was to play a board game with my husband and say I was just having a drink in the spirit of xmas etc… I have hidden drinks in the house over the last 12 months and spent lots of time “disposing” of unwanted bottles.

    Having read as many posts as I can on here it has really helped me in the past to stop drinking. Actually like many of you I have “stopped” more than once! recently stopped for 30 days (without much more than the odd intense dream at night) but then……

    one reason, one excuse, one stressful day, one happy day, one hard night with no sleep, one bad dream, one argument, one tough day with a toddler, one bad work day (my husband and I work full time), one ANYTHING and I get a drink.

    I want to stop and I can stop I am just being “infulenced” by a force beyond my control.

    I am seeking help tonight, because it will stop! and I will be the person everyone thinks I am, one day (at a time).

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