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Hey everyone –
Well, today is my 2 year sobriety birthday. I felt anxious coming up to it for some reason….but I made it, and here I am.
BUT – I am feeling sort of down in the dumps. Not even sure why, really – I’m usually pretty upbeat. I know that last year on my first birthday, I was SO happy and excited. I couldn’t believe I had made it, one day at a time!
This year? I’m not sure what my deal is. I’m feeling bad because although I am free from alcohol (one day at a time, with the help of my HP), I still have this addictive personality. Nicotine Gum, Food, Internet – I’m hooked on all of them. I guess I’m disappointed in myself….for all of the work I’ve done in recovery, I’m still finding ways to isolate myself and avoid feelings. Don’t get me wrong, life is 100% better than it was when I was drinking – there’s no comparison, really. I guess I’m just feeling like I “should” be more recovered than I am. If that makes any sense!
I don’t want to be a bummer for any of the newbies on the board. But I guess even those of us with a little time under our belts need some help sometimes. I do, anyhow.
Thanks for listening 🙂
@earthmama 1481206 wrote:
Hey everyone –
Well, today is my 2 year sobriety birthday. I felt anxious coming up to it for some reason….but I made it, and here I am.
Birthdays always leave me a little anxious too. I think it is fairly common.
This year? I’m not sure what my deal is. I’m feeling bad because although I am free from alcohol (one day at a time, with the help of my HP), I still have this addictive personality. Nicotine Gum, Food, Internet – I’m hooked on all of them. I guess I’m disappointed in myself….for all of the work I’ve done in recovery, I’m still finding ways to isolate myself and avoid feelings. Don’t get me wrong, life is 100% better than it was when I was drinking – there’s no comparison, really. I guess I’m just feeling like I “should” be more recovered than I am. If that makes any sense!
It seems as it birthdays become a kind of reflection time and too many times I feel I have not progressed as fast as I would have liked. My opinion is that is the perfectionist coming through. When I start feeling that way I have to remind myself that it is “Progress not perfection” that matters.
Happy birthday! 2 years is awesome.
(((earthmama))) Two years is huge, I passed that mark 9 months ago. Congratulations! Try to be proud of your growth and progress.
My second year was hard, year three seems even harder. Why? Because I’m learning to live again, and I open myself up to more challenges, knowing that I can face them head-on in sobriety in spite of any fears I might have. There are still times when I hurt and feel painful emotions, but the reward of recovery for me is experiencing life on life’s terms. It’s pretty cool to do these things sober.
I also have “anniversary anxiety” when I approach an AA birthday. I think it’s pretty natural at those times to examine our progress in recovery, and that’s when I have to remind myself that it’s “progress, not perfection”.
I’m very proud of you for sharing and for your recovery time!
Congrats earthmama!
Big ups on 2 years earthmama! Expectations of the way things should be VS Acceptance of the way things are. Always troublesome, more so on milestone occasions? We can’t always get what we want, but if we try some times, we might just find, we get what we need.
Congratulations * 2.
be proud! hugs, k
Earthmama, congratulations and Happy Birthday! 2 years is a miracle! If you are feeling ready, maybe it is time to start looking at other areas of your life. It wasn’t until I had some solid sober time that I was able to start looking at some of the deeper issues, myself. I’ve started working with a relapse prevention group, and though painful, it’s been very helpful.
Regardless, you should be very proud of yourself for such an accomplishment! I’m grateful you are here to share your sobriety with us.Rowan
@earthmama 1481206 wrote:
Hey everyone –
Well, today is my 2 year sobriety birthday. I felt anxious coming up to it for some reason….but I made it, and here I am.
BUT – I am feeling sort of down in the dumps. Not even sure why, really – I’m usually pretty upbeat. I know that last year on my first birthday, I was SO happy and excited. I couldn’t believe I had made it, one day at a time!
This year? I’m not sure what my deal is. I’m feeling bad because although I am free from alcohol (one day at a time, with the help of my HP), I still have this addictive personality. Nicotine Gum, Food, Internet – I’m hooked on all of them. I guess I’m disappointed in myself….for all of the work I’ve done in recovery, I’m still finding ways to isolate myself and avoid feelings. Don’t get me wrong, life is 100% better than it was when I was drinking – there’s no comparison, really. I guess I’m just feeling like I “should” be more recovered than I am. If that makes any sense!
I don’t want to be a bummer for any of the newbies on the board. But I guess even those of us with a little time under our belts need some help sometimes. I do, anyhow.
Thanks for listening 🙂
Hang in there.As long as you stay with it you have a chance to overcome anything you want.Give yourself a break.What you have accomplished up to now is no small feat.Imagine what else you could do.Good going
Quote:Why? Because I’m learning to live again, and I open myself up to more challenges, knowing that I can face them head-on in sobriety in spite of any fears I might have.This.
Early sobriety was almost easier because the biggest challenges I faced were getting the mail , taking out the trash, and figuring out which meeting to go to for the day.
As I recover more, God gives me more challenges. (And more rewards)
Don’t feel bad mama. I’m pretty sure your not the first alkie to ever expect too much from themselves……..;)
Welcome SoberDad!!
OK, back on topic……..
Hi Sober Dad….Welcome to 12 Step National Meetings!
🙂Mama ….Well Done!
:cheer :cheer
Hi Earthy,
2 years is an amazing acomplishment. Where I am right now, it’s hard to even imagine 2 years. It’s great to see people get there, as it gives me hope for the future.
Don’t sell yourself short!
Ted
Thanks for the welcome.I was really happy to have found you guys.
Two years is an awesome achievement, earthmama!!! You are one of the winners.
Sorry you are feeling sad today. I hope your sadness lifts and you are able to enjoy your great acomplishment. This is a big day for you. Wow. Two years!!!
The stuff you mentioned being disappointed about seems like small potatoes to me. I struggle to get a few days of sobriety. Had 6 but just blew that.
Winners like you give me hope though.
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