- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
- July 16, 2016 at 5:28 am#39791AnonymousInactive
Ok, I am not looking for a lecture, not looking for any spirituality or 12 step.
I am a very spiritual person. I believe in god and my strength is there.
My story is simple
I went a period of time drinking moderately, a few drinks nightly.
I then stopped for about a year, then resumed for a few months.
Then quit again.
Then for the last 5-6 months I am back to drinking again.
I have a limited, alcohol makes me feel like total garbage and if I get more than say 4-5-6 drinks I feel totally hellish, bed spins, sickly, yuck. I hate it.
However, I enjoy the moderate 2-3 evening relaxing drinks.
Generally I am a big fan of beer, but I am working on getting in shape, working on my health and I started thinking the beer was giving me acid reflux. So for the last week I switched to about 3-4 ounces of vodka with lemonaid. I like to unwind with the tv and relax.
My problem is simple, I get into a depedence, the dependence never increases but I start to get what I believe to be withdrawal or anxiety until I get to that next drink. I generally feel pretty good the next day, but as I near 24 hours since the last drink I start to feel not so well.
For over 13 years I have had periods off and on of drinking, never in excess.
I am a light drinker, but it does become a habit and I believe I do get some tolerance as I do believe some days it does very little for me and some days it seems to just curb the dependence side effects. I think its like a habit for me like a person who drinks coffee. If I miss a day I feel it big time and its pure anxiety.
I have had success weaning from 2-3 drinks to nothing and then quitting.
This time however its been different, I feel total anxiety, I feel unwell. I just don’t like myself. The anxiety and uncomfortable constant can’t relax feeling is just annoying. This is all sudden. I just visited my doctor and I told him about the drinking and he was not concerned, I did do a blood panel and I am in great health. But, I have anxiety and my BP has been borderline high as I have been so anxious, is comes down on its own but I feel like I drank 10 cups of coffee and have asthma.
I want to stop. I can’t just quit cold turkey, its not my chemistry, its not my style, I like to ease into things, I like to plan I like to be structured. However this time I am struggling cutting back. I am seemingly stuck at 2 drinks, and the anxiety is overtaking me.
I did switch to vodka and that may be a problem. I am on a gluten free diet and my metabolism may be different now. I was drinking gluten free beer, but over time I was getting acid reflux from it. So I switched to vodka.
I am mad that I got into this routine, I would have preferred an occasional drinking day, but this everyday thing is starting to suck. I know according to doctors 2 drinks a day for men is fine and some say up to 4 is ok. but my body is not having it anymore.
I don’t need a title, I don’t need anything but support, and friendship.
I am ready to stop, I believe I need to have some assistence in quiting. my fear is life insurance just started and they are investigating me and I am right now without health insurance and I want health insurance. I want to talk to my doctor but nowadays they seem to be recording everything into the computer and it effects your future costs in healthcare and life insurance. I want him to help me confidentially, but I don’t see that happening.
Sorry to be a big baby, but my minimal use has seem to turn on me and I feel stuck. I know my problems seem minimal and I don’t mean any disrespect. I am just stuck. This anxiety from drinking is over the top, the anxiety as I try to quit or cut back is nearly debilitating. I am firmly stuck.
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