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  • #39727
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I posted here when I was 70 days sober, and a couple of times since, but I’m still really, really new here….

    In a nutshell:

    My drinking, while above the average for my whole adult life, never was an issue for me…I’ve reveled in the combination of my intemperance AND the ability to get things done…I started circling the drain with my depression about 3 years ago…to the point of almost being a shut in…and the drinking went epic…I was medicating my anxiety, and exacerbating my depression…the whole time knowing that one day, I’d have to just stop…just not today…I started breaking promises due to getting drunker and for longer than I intended…it was typically at home, without driving and never getting shitfaced in front of my kid, so except for physically, I was just not being shown the consequences of my actions, because I didn’t seem to be hurting anyone…but it sucked….drinking every day or withdrawing, a couple of times a month (and increasing) having to feel out my wife or friend in the morning to see if I’d been reprehensible or just plain bizarre the night before….

    New Years eve, when we went to friend’s, I was already drunk…for a day and a half, really…nothing bad really happened, but passing out on the couch….but, I can’t remember more than half an hour of the night….it was just a final straw for me….I continued to stay drunk for another 2 days while thinking long and hard about my choices…though, they seemed to be less and less “choices” anymore….
    I stopped…and went through 4 horrible days of withdrawals, but knowing that I was on the right track….nobody held a mirror to me or shined a light on my addiction….all my friends drink too much, and my wife, though not a drinker has never been one to tell me what to do…I was never given an ultimatum, I just had a couple of very, very introspective days of complete self honesty…recognizing that I wasn’t here for myself or my family, and people drink themselves to death on less than I drank….

    Last Friday was 6 months sober for me! So it’s now 6 months and 5 days 🙂

    I just thought, I’d celebrate, and thank you guys…I don’t post much, but I read daily…it continues to help me…

    SSZ

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