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- September 10, 2008 at 7:25 pm#34119
Hi again, Sobriety date 16.08.08.
I just had an argument with my father. Who because of his illness has become a very bitter and ignorant man. Simple inconsequential chatter is the spark for his immediate cataclysmic temper. Fortunately he is physically weak and thus no one is hurt. Anyway after this argument I realise for yet another time that I can no longer speak to my father beyond pleasanteries. As some of you know I am young. Being sober has allowed me to start planning to move away and maybe start a life. Yet it’s just so hard when both your Mother and Father are not there for you. In anything other than physical terms. Nothing exceptionally bad happened in my childhood with either of them. So I feel without right to condemn them in my adulthood. Yet I can’t escape the feeling that they passed on me along time ago. No doubt this is one of the reasons I drank heavily in the first place. But I know I cannot blame them for my problem. I have never done that as I do not want to become as bitter as my father. Desperate for arguement and physical threat in an attempt to reaffirm the masculinity he lost years ago.
Just looking for support as usual. Comfort in the knowledge someone read about how I am feeling. I know I can’t experience being alone on my own anymore. I have to share that solitude with others who may have experienced it.
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