- This topic has 9 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 3 months ago by Anonymous.
- September 10, 2013 at 7:51 pm#30930AnonymousInactive
I would like to know where the negative image comes in about Al-Anon from alcoholics? I have heard this more than once in OAA meetings and my SO has been told in a few AA meetings that if his SO is in Al-Anon he better watch out because they are man-haters. It’s a shame that is being spread as heresay since it’s so far from the truth. Truth is Al-Anon has helped me rid myself of some anger and if anything let me become more compasionate for the active A in my life. I was more of an alcoholic hater before I started this program. Just wondering if others have this belief here or have heard it spread at meetings.
JennySeptember 10, 2013 at 8:07 pm#160016AnonymousInactive
I’ve seen people turn their noses up and wrinkle their faces when Al-Anon is mentioned at our meetings, or when my GF introduces herself in a group discussion. IMO, and at risk of being slain by my friends in the Fellowship, Lol, seems to me like those attitudes stem from ignorance and lack of knowledge.
My thoughts are that recovery is a “we” program, and WE means all of us, whether it’s AA, Al-Anon, CoDA, NA, Nar-Anon, CA, CMA, OA, ACOA, GA, whatever.We’re all here because of addictions, either for ourselves or the loved ones in our lives.
How do I understand the wreckage and hurt I’ve caused unless I hear it from the other side? How do I understand how my behavior affected others? I do it by attending Al-Anon and CoDA, and by listening to their members that attend my AA meetings. In the process, I’ve discovered that I’m a codie too. Whaddya know, when I opened my mind I actually learned something new about myself.
The more I learn the better. Please don’t ever stop attending our meetings and sharing openly whenever you can. I know I’m not alone in being grateful for the presence, openness, and understanding of the Al-Anon’ers in our lives.
ScottSeptember 10, 2013 at 8:33 pm#160021AnonymousInactive
Sounds awesome what you are doing in Al Anon. May I suggest that you not be concerned about those who in their illnesses can not see the wonderful recovery in other 12 Step Programs. I too, know of those who can not say let alone think anything positive due to a surplus of self pity, ego and indifference. They to, shall pass. LOL Keep up the amazing work!
RSeptember 10, 2013 at 8:50 pm#160020AnonymousInactive
My codie behavior of course is worried that my abf will listen to those that are giving him negative information. I know it’s out of my hands. I did explain that Al-Anon is not negative but positive and helpful to our family. He can either believe me or not. I realize it mentally, now I have to feel it.
JennySeptember 10, 2013 at 9:11 pm#160017AnonymousInactive
@sunshine321 1478488 wrote:
My codie behavior of course is worried that my abf will listen to those that are giving him negative information.
If I listened and acted on half of the information that’s shared in the rooms I’d probably go nuts trying to process it all. My understanding has always been to take the good stuff that works for me and to leave the rest. It’s worked pretty well for the last 2 1/2 years, but it takes awhile to learn how to filter out the BS. Like you said, it’s in his hands only, not yours.September 10, 2013 at 9:26 pm#160015AnonymousInactive
I’m a recoverying alcoholic..the moment I fell in love with another
recvoerying alcoholic…instantly I became a codi…lol
it’s all the the same, it dosen’t matter what 12 steps or program
i work…i have to work my own program and not my GF’s
Sometimes it’s best the we don’t even go to the same meeting.
well, on a bad day..I’m kind of not really agreeing with her.lol
And i would like to express it , so I can release it..this way
i don’t react like i use to. I don’t hate my gf sometimes I just
get angery at her.
the 12 steps gose into not having to hold on to my baggage
anymore…the most common term use in AA is clean house..
The same gose on in Al-anon, peaple releasing their anger and pain
and are not being judge..
imagine that.. looks or sound familar in AA.lol
Just joking ..okay, I was codependent long before I ever met my GF.September 10, 2013 at 9:55 pm#160019AnonymousInactive
After I got back in AA, my wife developed an interest in recovery which evetually led her to Alanon. I wouldn’t have it any other way. She sometimes comes to open meetings with me, and has developed some friendships with the recovering women in my group. We just spent the weekend hanging out on the lake with other alcoholics, and my wife was the only Alanoner, but who could’ve told the difference? We were all having a blast. Just one of the rewards when you get right in the middle of the fellowship.September 10, 2013 at 9:55 pm#160018AnonymousInactive
I am often amazed at how because it has to do with either AA or any other “recovery program” that all the gibberish that is spouted becomes a topic of utmost importance. I second Astro’s sentiment, this is a gaggle of pretty crazy folks, MYSELF INCLUDED, and if you heard all the very same silliness at Starbucks in the AM you would just chalk it up to some really foolish people.
AA is not a “bastion of mental health.” Read the book, find a sponsor that fits what YOU NEED, and be nice to all the other people in the meeting. Alanon is good for those that get what they need out of the fellowship. AA is good for the folks who really want what it offers. We are POOR LITTLE LAMBS THAT HAVE LOST OUR WAY (baa-baa-baa).
Celebrate the fact that you are sober for another day and go out and do some good for someone else. Don’t worry about the naysayers; their world will turn out to be just as bad as they want it to be.
JonSeptember 10, 2013 at 10:07 pm#160022AnonymousInactive
I guess I am fortunate as I have not seen any negative responses toward ALANON. In fact I have heard many people in the groups I attend encourage the alcoholic to attend ALANON, the reason behind it being that every alcoholic lives with an alcoholic, themselves. I have found ALANON quite useful in dealing with and understanding myself, setting up boundaries, dealing with my SO (who is an alcoholic).September 10, 2013 at 10:10 pm#160014AnonymousInactive
I think the reason why alcoholic spouses squirm at the mention of Alanon is pretty obvious. In my opinion anyone who has a problem with alanon has a reservation in his programme that bears further examination.
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