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    I’ve been back lurking around these boards again, reading and absorbing. I’ve been sober for 10 days now, and the withdrawal symptoms are starting to fade away. I did stay sober for a few weeks after detox, then when I went to the smoke shop to get a carton of cigs I walked out with a bottle of Dewars without even thinking about it, and was back into drunken turmoil. This last detox was extremely dangerous in retrospect, I just really didn’t want to go back to the detox facility and was thinking if I survived this detox myself I’d make it. It feels different this time. When I had relapsed earlier this year I just gave up and resigned myself that it was going to kill me. Then in the past few months I just realized this isn’t the way I want to live. It wasn’t making me happy, and my life wasn’t moving forward. What finally made something kick was a trip to Phoenix over the week of thanksgiving to visit friends. One of my oldest and dearest friends has been sober for almost a year and a half. He said he had the same type of feelings I was having about drinking when he decided to stop. He quit cold turkey and hasn’t touched a drop since. He’s been a great support these days and I’m so thankful he’s in my life. I went to 18 AA meetings in the past 9 days, and a few NAMI double-trouble meetings for people with mental illness and alcohol/drug addiction.

    The meetings honestly make me want to drink. That’s the only trigger I seem to have right now. I think I’m going to back off of them for a while and just keep doing what I’m doing…not drinking. I have my list of phone numbers to call if I need help and will go back if things get hard.

    I recognize that I’m not even 2 weeks sober, but it just really feels different. I know it could be that “pink cloud” and things could change any moment, but I don’t dwell on it and know that I have plenty of support if I feel any need at all to reach out.

    I just thank god that I made it through detox and am starting to feel so much better. I’ve also been working with my mom, who I am so proud of right now, on her 6th day clean of klonopin. She was on 12mg per day and in 3 months has gotten herself weened down and last night she finally got more than 3 hours of sleep. Again, she did something VERY dangerous too. I think we had guardian angels looking out for us.

    So, I’m stable on psych meds and actually feeling good sober. This forum and the people on here, their stories, their wisdom, even though I don’t post alot there’s so much to gain from it. Such a great site.

    Wishing the best for everybody walking down the path of recovery.

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