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  • #42710
    Anonymous
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    Hi everyone, I am jumping over again from F&F of alcoholics section! Feel free to browse my other posts if you would like to catch up on my story- the short of it is I am now “spending time” at my mom’s house to take some space and get some clarity on my relationship with ABF after trying couples therapy, me going to alanon, me trying to give up drinking to support him while he abstained for 2 months, me reading books and coming here, and that’s about it.

    While I have been taking my space and reflecting on my relationship with my ABF… something occurred to me. He is trying to make this all about me, me leaving him, me taking a break, me being the one with the problem (problem being, I won’t accept his drinking). I have been working my program of recovery, so part of it IS about me. But, I am beginning to feel as though he is not claiming ANY responsibility in this whole thing. The lines of communication are still open between us at this point and there is not any animosity or hostlity, and I am wondering if you all have some suggestions of good questions to ask my ABF to get a better idea of what HE wants out of our relationship. If its satisfying to him. How’s it working for him. Because, I’m not ready to simply walk away and take 100% responsibility for it going down. I mean yes, I know I am responsible for my part, and I own that. But what about his part? So, any discussion prompting questions? Oh, and I am asking here because I’m sure a lot of you went through a period of time where someone was trying to get you to stop drinking, trying to convince you you had a problem, and I’m sure that didn’t feel good. So- I guess if I were going to rephrase- how did you feel when you were in that situation? How was it working for you? Thanks in advance for your replies!

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