I have been looking for an open bed in any rehab that takes my insurance in my area, with no luck. I am thinking I might have to do this on my own. I have been clean for 6 days now and I am feeling pretty good, I just keep praying and going to meetings.
I am not really sure what I am looking for a rehab to do for me anyway, I already know I can get clean, I just haven’t had much luck staying clean for longer than a few weeks. I know that a rehab can’t make me stay clean when I get out, and I would only be able to stay for 2 weeks anyway because my mother in law is flying back home in two weeks and I have a kid to watch.
I am just scared. I am scared because I haven’t had luck so far and I feel like I need some kind of help to stay clean. I have been trying to do it with the help of God and NA, only to turn my back and run every chance I get. I don’t get it. Why am I so afraid?! What are these fears I need to confront in order to stay clean and sober?