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    Just an update i guess, got a job working on a farm in northern california, a friend from meetings got me a job there and drives me there and back, i have to get up really early and it’s hard work all day my body hates me now.. got accepted into a Certified Nursing Assistant (cna) program at a community college which starts at the end of the month.. man the other night i couldn’t sleep so i tried to fill the whole in me with food, ate an impressive amount at 1 in the morning, i think i was eating my feelings haha.. i feel really hopeless at night when i can’t sleep but i had a cigarette and said a little prayer and got a few hours of sleep.. if i try to think about going through that every night i’d give up, but one day at a time, or one night rather..

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