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  • #38085
    Anonymous
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    Hey guys, I came here the first time I was serious about quitting Marijuana. I got arrested and it shook me all up and made me realize that smoking all day every day was bad. This was back around May. I slowed down and eventually stopped and by August I hadn’t touched the stuff for 2 months. I think back and this was a really happy clear headed time.

    By the beginning of new school year in September I left community college and started as a Junior away from home on my own and soon picked it up again. Worse still I was finding some extremely good quality lettuce and in no time it was my #1 concern again. I was smoking in secret my girlfriend didn’t even know I was high all the time. Me and my girlfriend are having so many issues and she just got diagnosed with depression and I’m being a jerk to her with my moods all over the place and ugh the fighting and crying is just all the time. My mind was getting so cloudy I was depressed and couldn’t do my work. I would get high and sleep and then get high again and just do my work at the last minute and subject myself to so much anxiety about being so close to not finishing on time, and then I would smoke to take my mind off it and celebrate finishing the work which was really sabatoging me. I had a head injury last year I was in a coma for 2 days it really messed me up and I lost my sense of smell and I’m just self numbing myself getting all caught up in this vicious cycle. The other day I swore it off and have been clean for 8 days but still my memory sucks and my modivation is shot. Quitting was hard and I was so depressed crying and what not but I kept up the soberity. I got 2 concerta pills from this kid I know and I worked for 2 days straight no sleep and got alot done but without sleep and the condition my mind is I wasn’t really being productive but I had to press on. I finally crashed off that shlt and freaked out on my girlfriend with my emotions all awry even worse I threatened to kill myself and just screamed and screamed at her. OK I got over that but then I got 100mg of adderall and took 90mg at once and stayed up for 3 days working on something that I had all semester to complete and somehow I did it, on the 3rd day of being up I gave a speech took 10mg of what I had left to make sure I didn’t crash mid day. I went home during this time feeling all good and talkative and talked to my sister and mom about everything, I got all my sentiments out and they helped me alot and now im gonna get some help. Anyways after the speech I crashed and have been sober from weed or anything else and am afraid of getting hooked on adderall and my emotions are killing me I feel like there is no point to life and I can’t stand myself but I love you guys just a few words and hopefully I can be in a drug free life soon

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