- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
- June 11, 2017 at 12:53 pm#43122AnonymousInactive
Well folks I didn’t sign in here yesterday because I caved in and took 2 pills again! I did go to AA meeting last night and that felt good to be back with familiar faces. I use to go there for years. BUT…could not openly disucss narcotic use cuz it’s AA. I did get approached by a new woman I had not met that was VERY friendly…I felt a connection and after meeting asked for her phone number (which I got) and told her everything. She said she was glad I was open and honest with her. I’m trying to get in touch with my old sponsor who I can tell anything..she wasn’t just my sponsor but also a best friend. Her phone doesn’t seem to be working so I may drive over there today. Husband is home so stealing pills is not an option. I saw someone post that if he is counting his pills (which I’m sure he will) he will know some are gone. I will have to cross that bridge when I get to it. Hopefully he doesn’t say anything cuz he sometimes takes extras. He is due for refill Tuesday so if I can stay in the “clear” until then and not take anymore I will be ok with him. My feelings of how he would react were confirmed this morning. I didn’t confess to stealing but mentioned that I may go to NA tonight at 7:30 and that there aren’t many NA meetings around here. He said you don’t need NA you only did drugs when you were drunk which is true until I had started stealing his pills last year (which he knows about that) and I reminded him of that and he just made a face. So I know confessing IS NOT AN OPTION but telling you folks and telling the woman at AA last night has helped a lot with the depression from guilt and shame. If I can talk to my old sponsor I know tht will help even more. If I get desire (which I’m sure I will) I will call the woman I met at AA. If I can’t get my old sponsor I may choose this woman if she has some drug use experience herself. I didn’t post anymore yesterday out of shame and disappointing all of you. I will not post again until after 3 pm today, if I can without DH knowing, cuz that will be 24 hours clean. Thanks for the support and hopefully you will see a post this afternoon or evening saying I made it 24 hrs.!!!!!!!!! I didn’t have this much trouble with alcohol..never counting hours or days …God really relieved me from years of alcohol in an easy way. I’ve prayed for the same for this. Walked the Labyrinth yesterday too and that seemed to help some. Thanks and c u later!
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