Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 97 total)
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  • #164018
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey Belle, no you never said it was all rosey, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t slip into that kind of behavior. When I was a using junky I would lie all the time, like a knee-jerk reaction, without even thinking about it. Sometimes when I found myself in a situation where lying isn’t necessary I’d have to pinch myself to remember that I can be honest for once.

    For me, I’d summarize my situation like this: “Some days are better than others.” I bet that’s true for you too. Well that’s how life is supposed to work. Some days you can’t seem to get out of bed, other days you are just happy and singing and there isn’t really any good reason why. I can live with that.

    #163956
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Well ya know I do a certain amount of faking it..acting like its all rosey..
    WHY??? Well because I can’t walk around with my real emotions hanging out all over the place like some putrid disease ,,,,hehehe…
    Ex Junky…you are amazing to me…really..
    Please keep sharing how you did it,,do it,,whatever..
    Cause I need to hear…I can’t do this by myself..and I am not even sure I can do it with help!! But today I am doing it..
    16 days….maybe today was just a bad day…my hands even hurt to type..
    love north

    #164015
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey belle
    Hey sweetie. How’s it going? I am checking in girlfriend. You sound so good belle. Your spirits are soaring today. I was really worried about you for a few days. i really prayed hard for you. You stay in my thoughts. i wish there was some way that I could help you…but I guess this is one of those things that we have to do on our own. We know how hard it is. keep doing whatever it is you are doing because it seems to be working. You are a sweet soul. i am glad that you want to live. I am glad that I want to live too. Life is better than the alternative. I’m going to pm you now. Hooray for you….14 and counting……Vikster lol

    #164021
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m hanging in there no finger nails left to speak of, but I am doing it, 29 minutes ago became day 110 for me!!!!!

    sparkling1.gif

    #164016
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    hey Wildkatz…I have no fingernails either. I even chew on the sides of my fingers when my nails are so short that i can’t find anything to chew on there. I know how nasty it looks too. my daughter used to have a bad habit of that and i used to tell her that it looked awful. Now she gets to tell me!!!! It all comes back on you one way or another doesn’t it? You go girl,,,110 days…That is so wonderful. it is so bery hard the first few months. That seems to be the make it or break it point. it is still hard for some after the 10 year mark but by then the tools are in place to know the triggers etc…I still have sleep issues and feel vwery jittery. It’s like i have the chills or something.I wish that would stop. anyway…I just wanted to say how wonderful you are doing and to tell you to keep it up…you are an inspiration to many here…….Viki

    #163981
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    North, one thing comes to mind with your stomach stuff. My first 30-40 days my stomache, well let’s say I could have ripped it out with my teeth. Has it just started since you stoppped using? It could simply be that. If it continues though, I’ll be mom and say “Go get it checked”

    I was pretty proud of myself last night. I took my little one to a birthday party and she’s shy so she asked me to stay and I did. When I went to go to the bathroom, there was a big old bottle of codeine cough syrup on the counter and all I thought was “ugh” Now, I never like codeine anyway, but the way I’ve been feeling lately, just the fact I didn’t take a big ol’ swig of it was amazing.

    Well, off to a girl scout event. Have a great day, all.

    P.S. North, did I ever tell you, my husband spent a month in Alaska when we first go married? He went with a mens group and they flew into I think Fairbanks, then took one of those small planes to the Brooks Range and hiked. The pictures took my breath away so I can only imagine what it’s like to live in Alaska.

    #163942
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Just wanted to drop in with an update…My ultasound reveiled swelling on my intestines and a “Chrohn-like appearance” so I have an apt.for a consult with another DR about mid-Oct. {couldn’t get in any sooner} to have a colonoscopy.

    Not feeling too bad this morning but it comes and goes so I guess I gotta’ deal with it until they can get me in. I am so mad at myself for putting it off this long but at least I am doing something about it now.
    I am trying not to take the darvocet unless I really, really need it…and actually it doesn’t even touch the pain but only makes me woozy enough to not think about it.
    I have no desire to abuse it or anything…I just want to get this BS over with, find out whats wrong and fix it!

    cc…I was a Brownie and GS leader for several years! We used to have so much fun but oh, was it a job to get stuff ready and plan events for them! All “my girls” are all grown up now, including my own.
    Well…take care all and have a good wknd!
    ~Jane

    #163993
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m so glad to see your staying clean north. i was hoping when i popped back in here that that would be the case.

    I’m going to complain for a second here and sit on the pitty pot haha I’m in constant pain (abdominally) and they cant figure out why. I keep having bleeding. they dont know why either. they just keep giving me pantoloc (for ulcers) and doubling my dose. Well its completelycounterproductive because i’m in so much pain i pop percocets which just aggravate my stomach in the end but stop the pain while its happening. Sometimes the oxy’s dont even cut the pain but i try to stay away from those. I don’t feel like myself, my whole body hurts and I feel on the verge of being sick all the time. It would serve me right if this is from the years of abuse ive put my body through.

    #163957
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I am renaming this thread..

    STOMACH PAIN in reccovery!! I am right there with you..Boy I have to tend to believe that all our drug use has alot to do with this ya know??
    (((Jane))))..thanx for the update..I have read alot about Crohns…I am glad you have the benefit of medical help..and I also love you!!! Have I ever told you that?? LOL!!!
    Tanya girl!!! Hi honey!!! Your post talked about how I have felt the last few days EXACTLY!!!
    (((CC))))..i love the ripping your stomach out with your teeth idea!!!:) You are so solutin based!!!! LOLOL..and that is why…I have northern love for you…Alaska IS without a doubt..gods coutry..however ..global warming here has changed so much…many of our bush villages on the bering sea are facing huge changes…but we persevere!! All of us that battle this disease everyday have stregnth adn courage beyond belief!!’

    The oNLY thing that seems to help me right now is trying to do something for someone else!! The ONLY thing that calms my mind…
    SO me and Chance are off to the meeting…I bribed him into coming with me….I love taking him..he participates……!!!
    love north

    #164012
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    northbelle, your lucky to have someone go to a meeting with.

    it’s not that great walking in all alone. but, i’m so thrilled that you’re hanging in there.

    please know this much…..i’m pulling for you 100%. you’re a smart and clever girl with a wonderful son (who loves you no matter what) you’ve got friends that will come get your ass up if they sense something is wrong.

    northbelle…..you are loved!!!!

    #164031
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi NorthBelle,

    I was in Anchorage for a short time this summer. We flew from Spokane to Seattle to Anchorage to Fairbanks to visit our son & his family. It is wonderful that people can get sober all over the world although some countries aren’t as accepting of AA as others. :c006:

    We were there ten days and stayed at a lodge out on the Old Steese Hwy. Our son works at the Fort Knox goldmine. He loves it in Alaska. They bought some land and are in the process of building a house as funds allow. He likes the drink a little to much…explained to me that he slows down when the weather is good and he can be working on the house. :rohno!:

    I have been sober 19 years now but it still doesn’t seem that long to me. I drank for 24 years so haven’t caught up to the time drinking versus not drinking yet.

    You have the right idea of getting sober for yourself and you are on a good foothold so far. I had to take it One Day At A Time or even less….one time remember putting my shoes on then taking them off then putting them on again to go get that six pack of beer…..I left my shoes on…got the beer…drank three…then my husband called Mental Health and I was taken to a Emotional Health Unit for help. That was when my depression was diagnosed and I continued on down the road to being in recovery. :rohno!: red face and all…the psychiatrist said I should think of my face as a ruddy color that is good. Are you kidding????? I look like the older winos walking down the streets years ago!!!!

    Keep coming back and keep posting.

    kelsh

    #163982
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Jane, I have a friend and a relative with Krohns. I know it can be uncomfortable, sometimes even painful, but it is certainly manageable an without narcotics. Yay!!!

    Tanya, I’m sure we’ve all done major harm to our bodies. I don’t know what to say about your stomach problem. I just hope you find relief soon.

    #163958
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Wow Kelsh…and I have been to the Omak Stampede! I lived on a cherry orchard i Rock Island for awhile…Did ya get to go to the lovely Lake Chelan mental ward…I have been there before myself..but only visiting!!

    Northbelle is singing…its a small world after all..its a small world afterall..its a small world afterall..its a small, small world..

    Well I have not felt the need to stick a needle in my neck today,,,or committ any crimes!! SO its a good day..the meeting ROCKED!!
    love north

    #163983
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    North is feeling better today too; your sense of humor is shining!! Yay!!!

    I’m checking in! I also have a story that I just have to tell you all. Now remember, I’m a good two shoes, nicey nice, I blush easily, you get the picture.

    Well yesterday me and the girls went to the video store to get a video. Me and my oldest, Rachel who is 10 (but thinks shes 30) had words in the store so I said “You know what, we’ll skip the movie tonight, we’ve got one at home we haven’t seen” So then we were going over the the grocery store to pick up something to make for my husband’s birthday. Needless to say we fought the whole way there.

    When we got there I had to go to the bathroom so went in and the argument continued. From under the stall I hear this voice yell at me and say “Simmer down, take it easy with that little girl!” (Now, I’m a mom who never hits; in fact I’d say I’m a good mom) So I got pissed and said “Shut up and mind your own business and if you can’t do that, why don’t you call DSS?” Then I went in to the bathroom. Needless to say, the woman was gone when I came out. Rachel took one look at me and we both burst out laughing. When her dad got home, she and her sister were imitating the whole scene and Anna was even describing what the woman looked like.

    The point: Am I awful? I just got really ticked that she yelled at me (especially from behind the stall) One of my friends, who is a teacher, said I should look at it from the woman’s point of view, like what if I really did something bad when we got home and she didn’t do anything to stop it. My answer to that was – she didn’t do anything. She was just being nosy. If she was really concerned, she would have gotten the store manager when she left the bathroom. Ok, I’ll shut up now, lol.

    #164005
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    ccgirl;

    Nothing has humbled me like parenting. I got a good laugh out of your story. I would have had approx the same reaction as you did. Your kids acting it out for the next few days should be sufficient payback (lol).

    BTW, of course you are not awful. If you have kids and you hang out with them and have experiences you can share, and laugh about, IMHO that makes you a pretty good parent.

    I’m pretty sure that parenting is not an exact science!

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 97 total)
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