Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 97 total)
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  • #163997
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Checking in today. :bbd: Had a rough night last night dreaming about my x. It seems there is still some part of me that thought it could still work out. It

    took awhile for me to come to that conclusion and “hopefully” I wont be having

    anymore dreams of my x. 🙂

    #164029
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m still new here and don’t really know that many people here but I’m gonna check in here too so I can get to know y’all.

    No clean days for me right now, I’ve actually kinda been on a major binge the past 4-5 days and I feel really sick. Trying to distract myself from the urge right now.

    #163959
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    (((((EMMMERRRRRRRR)))))))…so how are you feeling today?? Don’t worry the prayers of others and the power of support are holding you up and you don’t even know it…You ARE being cared for even when you are that dark place..
    Addicts know loneliness like few do..it is intense sometimes..this whole HUMAN experience….keep it spirutual right now..god works through others..
    Can you talk about this for real in a meeting ?? You might get some love that you need right now if you do…Be open to the possibilities..
    This thread is great…
    ((((((((LEE)))))…sorry hun, broken hearts sometimes stay “cracked “a little forever …some people it seems we never stop dreaming of…maybe even loving huh??…

    So I am puttering around the house..cleaning the CAT box…makes me sick…I love my kitten but dang…I don’t like dig cleaning up after him!!!
    He is SOOOO cute this time of year though…tiny little Halloween Kitty..Blak Cat..Wish I had not of pawned off my freakin digital camera!!!

    You guys my computer is dying!!
    How do you CLEAR YOU COOKIES?????
    Help me out computer wizards!!!
    love north

    #164027
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m drunk, and I’m currently without a psychiatrist or therapist. My meds are running out soon. I’m gonna go outside and eat because I am too sick to cook, but hopefully by Thursday, I will have joined a recovery program and found a new medical team to prescribe the meds I think I need (I’m not even sure if they work anymore).

    But overall, I’m pretty good because I’m home a lot and I’m safe here. Better to be home than on the streets. Most important is that I’m safe from others. Now i just need to help myself.

    #163968
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    thx north, ya really wanna know how I’m feeling?
    I dont want to eat ,I dont want to go to NA, I dont even want sex. My anxiety is so off the scale that I feel like vomiting most all day.
    I am hanging on to my sobriety by the skin of my teeth.
    All I can do right now is be honest about it.

    Sorry to be such a downer but thats where I’m at today.

    ….Joe

    #163986
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Gosh, I don’t know what to say. Maybe it’s the time of year but a lot of people here seem to be wrestling their demons right now. I can only wish you all comfort and to get through it the best you can.

    Emmer, I think I read in an earlier post that the “anniversary” times can be tough. Hang in there.

    Jane, I know what your maybe diagnosis is; are you going for more tests?

    #164028
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @ccgirl 1509203 wrote:

    Gosh, I don’t know what to say. Maybe it’s the time of year but a lot of people here seem to be wrestling their demons right now. I can only wish you all comfort and to get through it the best you can.

    I don’t know … weather getting colder, days getting shorter. That always brings me down.

    #164014
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    emmer, i think we all feel your pain and wish we could take it away. please hang in there and as you’ve always told me to do….keep posting.

    #164026
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    During my last attempt of Quitting, I found it really hard at times to stop the voices, urges and temptation to make that dreaded call to any number of my dealers, because I knew what the end result would be; and I was sick of having to deal with the aftermath yet one more time.

    I literally forced my self to say “NO” out loud and repeated “Using isn’t an Option” almost hourly at times, sometimes it seemed like I was saying “NO” every minuet. When those urges did come and even after the repeated “NO’s”… I immediately found other things to occupy my thoughts: I remember watching rental movies for hours at a time. I found myself in libraries researching any number of topics…. just took myself out of my normal environment to clear my thoughts. I kept myself very busy and made sure my days and nights were filled with activities so that there actually was no time to use.

    Anyway, to make a long story short……………….. I did not use under any circumstance. I did not allow myself to have an “excuse” to use. I Knew deep down that Using Was’t the Answer – It is NEVER an option. That was 9 years ago.

    The less I gave into any urge, thought, temptation, trigger etc…. the stronger I became. Today, I don’t get urges at all. The memories of my using days and the pain associated with that life is well engraved in my brain………… No need to revisit that part of my life.

    There is nothing that could make me want to use ever.

    It does get easier with time – Just do not use under any circumstance. You don’t need to.

    #163998
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @northbelle 1508620 wrote:

    You guys my computer is dying!!
    How do you CLEAR YOU COOKIES?????
    Help me out computer wizards!!!
    love north

    My computer was getting kind of klunky so I defragged it and it seems to be running much better. 🙂 (I do this about every six months) Just go to “accessories” then “system tools” and use “disk defragmenter”. It takes a long time to defrag, so it is best to start it when you wont be using your computer for awhile (make sure you shut down all programs before running it).

    Clearing the cookies probably wont help and may actually cause problems. The best way to see if you have a problem in that area is to use Antispyware. Yahoo has a free one that works really good and will detect cookie problems too.

    take care north 🙂

    #163987
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Leeside; very impressive. I can barely type on my computer, lol

    Peachy; we used the phrase “using isn’t an option” in my IOP group. Some days it’s my mantra.

    Cleansing; my psychiatrist said that season, and especially days shortening can be a very difficult time for addicts (and everyone else too)

    I think, all in all, this staying clean business is just tiring on a day-to-day basis

    #163944
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Jane, I know what your maybe diagnosis is; are you going for more tests?

    Thanks for asking cc! Even though they said it had a “Chrohn-like appearance” it still could be anything. I looked on WebMD and found several things that I had symptoms for…like Diverticulitus {sp?} and other things that just scared the living daylights outta’ me! So I am just putting it in Gods hands for now and will worry when they actually tell me I have something to worry about. {LOL}
    I go in for a consult with the DR who will be doing my colonoscopy Oct.17 and then hopefully they will hurry up and do the darn thing!
    This pain is driving me nuts and it comes at the most inconveinant times. All I can do is lay down and try to get through it.
    The darvocets are a joke and don’t even touch the pain {1 every 6-hours!}…not to mention they are almost gone and I still have quite awhile before my apt.

    I am just trying to hang in there but I will be sooo glad to get all this over with!!

    PS…The seasonal thing actually hasn’t been bothering me as much. I am enjoying the sunshine and falling leaves…not real happy about it getting dark at 7pm though! I love the change of seasons…but seem to get bored real quick. Unfortunately, Winter seems to last 1000-years around here! Not looking forward to that!

    ~Jane

    #163960
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You know sometimes things like that will heal themselves too…
    I know a naturpath and she says ulcers and stomach stuff can often get better when we start taking are of ourselves,,,
    I am going to the doctor myself today ..have my hep c bloodwork done ..meet anew doc….try to score some good meds….JOKIN..just seeing if youare paying attention..
    love north

    #163988
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Jane, I’ll be Mom now and tell you what I’ve learned from terrifying experience. Stay off the computer looking for symptoms, LOL The only thing I ever learned from that is I had a symptom of every disease I ever looked up!!!

    Take care

    #163945
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    {{North}} I actually was supposed to have the colonoscopy over a year ago when my ultrasound showed signs of swelling on the intestine, but I refused, changed my diet around, started eating more fiber, exercise and it seemed to go away for awhile.

    It came back about 6-months ago and has just been progressively getting worse…to the point where it actually is tender to touch on my lower left side {like a small knot there}.

    I feel bad cause I’m always telling everyone else to see the DR and follow DRs orders.
    Guess I should have been following my own advice, huh?

    cc….Amazing! That is exactly what my MOM told me!! LOLOL!!

Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 97 total)
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