my first post ever,and my first time sharing about my addiction..I for some reason find it relieving.

1981-1992 was a complete dope infested life style for myself…

it is crazy in my head… that I am on an internet forum posting this but for some reason I need to share…

I have worked in the business of making records for many many years…I am going to leave my identity at that,please understand…

I have been off coke and base (i.e crack) for 13 years,I have always drank alcohol but somehow got myself clean from a 12 year addiction to coke that was so nuts it is not even worth explaining..(i.e moving coke on pallets with a fork truck)…

anyway for what it is worth,I am driving my car along after a day golfing and BAM every bone in my body wanted to drive to the worst **** hole area in my city…I live in the second largest city in the US and people die every day there buying dope…

it was so bad that I had remorse just thinking about the fact that it hit me so hard…I did not even come close to dope,but I almost lost my mind…

knowing how hard it hit me is the thing that has me nuts…

I went all the way to the point that my 14 year old son was (back burner) my wife could (jump) and everything and I mean everything did not mean ****,all I wanted for that very moment was a hit of coke sizzling on a nasty stem in the ghetto,it took me to another place so fast I can not explain….it was very very graphic in my mind,as I was a bottom of the bottom crack head…in a very large city…

I am really helping myself by posting this,I am not sure it will help anyone else, but it is a feeling of flushing this **** from my brain….

peace and stay clean….