I am a chronic relapser. I am on Day 2 again. I stopped counting. I have been in a pattern of renewing my desire to get sober, going strong for a few days or a week or even more and then caving to the desire to drink, even though part of me knows that I don’t really want it and won’t really enjoy it.
I know that I am not the only person who has gone through this. What have other people done? Should I even bother trying to stay sober? Why do I get angry when I hear my husband say he’d like a beer and know that he’ll be able to have a few then not pick up a drink again for a few weeks? Why do I fear giving up the bottle once and for all? Why, when I know how good I can feel with a month or two of sobriety, would I even consider picking up?