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    Warning this is long but it’s from my heart

    My dad was a mentaly abusive drunk while I was growing up. Now don’t get me wrong I really love my dad but he still to this day continues to some times go on benders as he is one one now. Growing up with an alcoholic dad was very hard and it really depressed me and I had lots of trouble as a kid and my mom would take me to counselors and we all sometimes went as family and while there I would plead with my dad to stop drinking and he would promise that he would but never kept it. I remember one time I got into trouble for shoplifting and had to go to court my mom was working so my dad had to take me one problem though he was drunk. So we went and when we saw the judge I know he knew my dad was drunk as he slurred his speech and was staggering when we walked in and out and i was suprised he wasn’t locked up for being drunk in public. My mom was the one who took care of me my sister and dad as he couldn’t stay sober long enough to work. He would some times go on drunkin rages and chase us off sometimes with a unloaded gun but for some reason my mom would go back to him send him to rehab and hope he was better but it never happened as he would yo yo out of rehab and relapse the last time he was in rehab the very day he got out he got drunk. My mom is a very strong woman because she put up with it and I don’t really know why but she did finally give up and they divorced and my dad fell hard and tried to mask his pain with lots of booze until he lost everything like his house and was discharged from the army (he was a supply sargent). After a few years he finally pulled himself together enough to start working again and with the help of friends he slowed down alot on his drinking and actually went one year without drinking but he relapsed and ever since then he goes on benders sometimes mostly on weekends but to his credit he has a job and a home and it hurts that he could loose everything again if he isn’t carefull. I do now understand his addiction because I am a recovering addict myself but it still hurts me to see him in a drunkin state because like I said I love my dad and since he became a part time drunk and I became an addict we have bonded because we understand each other and our addiction. He a couple years ago saved my life as I was on a week long drunkin bender and he came in and got me straight (I did relapse) so I have really thought about trying to save his life but I can’t because he has to do that himself just like I have to save my own life. So now I realize I can’t be around him or talk to him when he is drunk because it can hurt my sobriety. I just had to say all of this and it was very hard (I am crying now) I just pray that he can get serious help and end his own nightmare like I am doing mine before it’s too late.

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