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- December 22, 2016 at 9:04 pm#41142AnonymousInactive
First time poster. First time user and abuser. I started out taking Roxycodone I believe is it’s official name, the 30mg Ms. I started out in around mid September, usually eating half or blowing half, but usually I would blow half and take half. For a while it was fun, I was at school with all the money I made over the summer and was just doing what I wanted. Overtime, I began to need more to get the high and feel the way I needed. It eventually lead to abusing (snorting/blowing) the whole 30mg everytime I had my hands on them, and usually 60mg total per day. Some days were worse, I would use more or use less. It all depended on if and how I could get them. As a total, I used on a regular basis from the beginning of September until now, the last time I blew a roxy was dec 20th. I’m currently on day 3 and having some pretty bad anxiety, no energy, no urge to do anything other than stay wrapped up in blankets on the couch. I stocked up on some Immodium which I have been taking along with some advil. The anxiety is killing me the most right now though, the mental struggle is harsh. Right around Christmas time, 3 days until it’s here. (I mean no offense to those who do no celebrate the holiday). I’m going to be forced to see my relatives and I look like a load of SH!T. However though, I am sleeping with the help of some benzos, my friend is prescribed Xanax so he lent me a couple (not knowing I needed them for this) and my mother had a few ativan lying around which has also helped. But man I just want this to be over, I want nothing more to do with this drug. It had taken over my life and I can’t believe I let myself slip away like this. I know once I go back to school after winter break the drugs will be rolling around again and I’m going to have the urge to need, because I know the physical w/d will only last so long, but the mental that could stay for a while. Just the feeling to have the drip. And there I go, talking about my urges in any way, shape, or matter. I’m on day 3 now and I’m feeling better, the Immodium is helping so much I can’t even believe it along with the advil. Only taking the benzos for sleep though, and they do tend to knock me out. Mixed with a small dose of nyquil, I’m usually out like a log. I do wake up in the middle of the night though, tossing, turning, praying to get back to sleep. These days go by so slow I feel like my brain is going to swell up and wither up and die. I know my usage was not as extreme as some others, and along with that my usage was indeed illegal, but still I’m here all alone and my parents just think I’m sick with something. That anxiety is killing me. Facing my parents, who are on a shakey relationship ever since they were seperated for a while, all my relatives, i feel like the world if crashing down on me and the w/d on top of it is killing me. Now I’m rambling. Anywho, any help and input would be VERY appreciated. I find that listening to some music is helping me and keeping myself occupied, video games, movies, hot showers feel nice, and a little mary usually helps for a little bit. whatever. How much longer is this going to last I know my usage was not too long but it adds up and to be feeling this ****** i know enoughs enough now. thanks for your time
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