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- July 16, 2016 at 12:07 am#39788AnonymousInactive
I had this experience yesterday that I want to share with y’all because I think it demonstrates just how much better we can get at dealing with negative situations in sobriety . . . life is still going to be full of hard ups and downs but now we can learn how to cope and manage things much more effectively!
So, last night: I got an email out of the blue about a loan I had taken out, requesting immediate repayment of part of it. I was totally disappointed to get this email, and afraid, because the money is something I need and I had been really excited that it would help me get out of a worse debt situation.
What would I have done in response to this email had I still been drinking? It’s not at all hard to imagine. I would have gone out an bought booze (after all, I would have told myself, fingering through my empty wallet, it’s not like I’m ever going to have any money) then gone home and gotten promptly loaded to avoid thinking about the negative situation. (Bad times were always a good excuse to drink even more.) Drinking wouldn’t have worked to make me stop thinking about it — maybe only 25% — and instead of forgetting about it I would have ended up calling somebody up and getting belligerent about the situation. In the morning I would have been hungover, too hungover to function, and would have desperately swallowed a few Aleve and tried to sleep it off (which almost never worked for me . . . unless I had benzos on hand to abuse, too). Then I would have tried to ignore the problem for days or even weeks, drinking and putting it off, likely incurring some other penalty as a result.
SO! Let’s see how this situation actually played out, recovery-style. I still felt really, really upset getting the email. I b*tched at people around me and complained to my boyfriend for an hour. I even had this weird freak-out where I worried I might forget to take care of the problem (like I sometimes did in the past when drinking). But then I told myself I would just have to cope. I finally came on here and went to the chat room and chatted with some folks (including my pal and fellow apriller ozgoddess 🙂 ) and then made myself take a bath, read for pleasure, and go to sleep. I woke up sober and called the loan people ASAP. I discussed the fine print with the lady on the phone and realized I could negotiate. I ended up only having to return a small fraction, and I could pay it, because at 3 months sober my checking account is no longer constantly in the double digits.
I just wanted to share this with everyone because it’s a huge deal for me to learn how to cope with stuff, and I’m grateful 12 Step National Meetings can help in this. :tyou Anyone else have an experience they can pretty much guess would have gone totally differently back then?
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