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    Anonymous

    I’ve been so depressed and I’m still struggling to cope. I stopped using about two weeks ago and I was only using a short period of time. I’m just overwhelmed with guilt, anger, anxiety and depression. Almost to the point I’ve thought I needed to be hospitalized. My husband is military and we just moved to another state. I’m alone all day with my 15 month old and I hate waking up. Im blessed to have a good little girl, but I am not being the best mother. I feel withdrawn and even annoyed with her at the stupid little things children her age do everyday. I want to pull my hair out sometimes and just scream to my husband that I’m fumbling under all this weight. One burden lifted off my shoulders is that I finally told my husband about my relapse. Before he had threatened, if I were to ever relapse, to take our daughter away. To my surprise, he was extremely loving and supportive. He just wants to know how to help me, because he doesn’t understand any of this and never knew me during that part of my life. I have so many blessings in my life and the fact that I have moved out of my hometown and away from all of my using life and finally being reunited with my husband,is even more of a blessing, but they are barely pulling me through. I’m hoping that this depressive state will pass and I can make it through. I’ve been to so many NA and AA meetings before years ago, but for some reason, the thought of walking in there by myself and them going around the room asking names, just freaks me out.

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