- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 11 years, 8 months ago by Anonymous.
- September 26, 2008 at 11:12 pm#34282AnonymousInactive
Ive posted a few times before on this wonderful forum, mostly running on about the recovery I USED 2 HAVE, before my relapse.
I cant go on like this any longer, i hate my life, its a lie, and i hate the person im becoming again, after working so hard to ‘get myself back’ and change for the better that i did, ive not lost everything, but i KNOW 100% if this continues i will lose everything….myself included, and that scares the dodoo out of me.
Today is day one, well night 1 now, cant sleep like usual, have taken meds,
but im hoping this wont suck too much as i did taper my habit down some first, (with much difficulty)
I do goto NA, but dont feel right there, and wont till im clean, they are so right when they say it messes up your using, cos it made mine way more painful, and for that iam grateful, without feeling that pain maybe id have just delayed this even longer than i have already, and another day using is another one less spent in healing and the recovery i so desperatley want.
My faith has left me, or i it, and i now reside with my new companion fear.
Please, i just need some help or encouragement to make it through, i cant do it alone, i know that now. The craving is on me, as i think how comforting it would be to score ‘one more last bit’, but it never is the the last one is it.
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