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  • #30883
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    the first time i got sober i was proud of myself, constantly patting myself on the back for doing what normies do everyday. what i have learned from my past relapse is for me being proud is very bad for me. when i am proud i start to take things for granted, i start to get a big ego, i start thinking i know it all and am better then everyone. of course hindsite is 20/20 and i didnt realize what i was doing when i was going through it. i got so caught up in years and saying how much time i had, i was not humble and did not remain teachable.

    today i am grateful to say that i have 30 days of sobriety, its a gift that can be taken away with the blink of an eye. its something that i have to focus on and keep number one in my life. i now believe that to drink is to die for me. my primary purpose of life for me is to stay sober and help the other alcoholic achieve sobriety, if i dont do that i am doomed. i want to thank everyone here on this site, just reading these posts help me stay grounded and remain grateful, some also help to see where my life could go if i pick up a drink!

    thank you all!!
    <3 Lauren

    #159262
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Quote:
    what i have learned *snip* is for me being proud is very bad for me. when i am proud i start to take things for granted, i start to get a big ego, i start thinking i know it all and am better then everyone.

    Hey, that’s ME !!!! 😉

    #159264
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Lauren, congrats on 30 days. Yes, all any of us have is the 24 hours we’re in, and some are fond of saying that if you got up earlier than I did, then you have more sober time. As you say, it can be taken away (or said another way, we can wreck it) in the blink of an eye. Some never find their way back to sobriety and some die.

    You mention being grateful, and I think that is very healthy. I try to find something, even something tiny, that I am grateful for every day. When I was newly sober, that was difficult and the topic of gratitude actually made me feel disgusted because my attitude was still so alcoholic and sick. Your post sounds good and I wish you many more sober 24hours. Please let us know how you are doing.

    Best from the Snowgoose.

    #159266
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Congrats on 30 days Lauren. Yes, pride and complacency are dangerous for us alcholics. Daily gratitude works wonders.

    #159261
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    :Val004:

    Forward we go…side by side!

    #159263
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Ah, open eyes with a new pair of glasses. If you’re like me, you are being told things you were told before, but they make sense this time. When I first got sober, I thought I had it going on. You told me that all I knew how to do was get drunk and that you already knew about that. I didn’t like hearing that. My first temporary sponsor told me to sit down and shut up that I didn’t have anything to give away. I was flabbergasted. Don’t you people know who I am?!!! You told me that my disease would progress regardless of whether I recovered or not. It was suggested that I get a sponsor and start working the steps with that sponsor IN order. Well, that was just too much. Surely, I don’t need to do all of this. Further more you said that if I didn’t like what you had or didn’t want what you had that I could leave and get back what I had brought with me. And that’s exactly what I did. And lo and behold it got worse. I was so full of myself. And I had to be beaten into a state of reasonableness. I love the part in A Vision For You where it talks about how we fool ourselves into wishful sobriety with our outward appeareance while inside we would give anything to get away with a couple of drinks. That became me. I eventually couldn’t imagine life with or without alcohol. When I couldn’t drink and I couldn’t not drink, I was broken, and that’s when I came back to AA. And that’s when I became willing to do the deal. When I got back in all I could remember was what my first sponsor had told me which was to come early and stay late and wash coffee pots, and so that’s what I did. I had to get a connection. Today, just under 6 months later, I’ve got more in my life than I had in the 7 years of sobriety I once had. I’ve got a home group that loves me, a sponsor that loves me, and a whole cell phone full of numbers I can call at anytime. I have a God in my life that is running the show, most of the time. And for the first time, I am looking forward to going beyond the 3rd step. 4th step starts this week, and I am not afraid. Sorry for the long winded post, but it is truly amazing. We are all walking, living, breathing miracles. We are the lucky ones that found a seat in Alcoholic’s Anonymous. Keep doing the deal for 24 hours at a time.

    #159265
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    BP44, thanks for the very good post. Sounds like humility is working. Wish we could bottle what you’ve said here and hand it out!

    Blessings from the Snowgoose.

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