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    Hello guys, this is a bit embarrassing because I’ve been on here in the past ranting about how great A.A. is and how brilliant XA Speakers is, but I’ve messed up big time.I hit the drink again really hard, I’ve been tanking 20 beers a day (not trying to act big) for the last month and my body is craving alcohol again, it’s horrific, I forgot how bad the DT’s were, my head is up my *****.My uncle, mum, dad and addiction worker all say I should check myself into hospital to detox safely and I’m sure you guys will all say the same thing, but I really do not want to go through that again, The last time was terrible, I was in a locked ward (incase you take a fit) and I was taking huge panic attacks because I couldn’t get out, really claustrophobic and some of the folks in there were really nuts, it was scary! I’m very fortunate that I have a stash of 32 10mg chlordiazepoxide and 28 2mg Diazepam, I also have 2 boxes of Nestle Nutren Build-up (I can’t eat it just comes back up) and I’m thinking of doing Detox at mum’s house tomorrow, they all say I can’t do it on my own because of my track record but I’ve really hit rock bottom this time and I think I can, I can’t go on like this, I’m killing myself and have wrung all the fun out of drinking, it’s just misery, I just sit and cry with a can of beer it’s pathetic.

    I was thinking of doing a 7 day Detox then get my lazy ass back to A.A.
    I really don’t think I can hack the hospital again.

    What do you guys think?

    Anyway sorry for going on and on, I just wanted to know what you guys think because I’m sure most of you will understand what I’m going through and where I’m coming from (I hope)

    Peace and much love,


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