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  • #37515

    so I didn’t sleep at all last night. I got home around 1 and layed in bed for like 5 hours trying to sleep. This has become normal for me, even if I don’t sleep during the day. I just cannot sleep at night. So this morning my mom comes and bitches at me to get out of bed. I tell her I didn’t sleep last night once again. She flat out accuses me a using. I understand that, not sleeping can be a sign. But she doesn’t ******* get it. I can’t sleep because all I think about is using. I’m not but it’s all I think about. Also what makes me even more pissed off is she hasn’t been there for me, for most of my life, and now she thinks she can be mom? She never asks how I’m doing, never wants to know how my recovery’s going. I’ve been 11 months sober now, almost a year. But she doesn’t see that. It upsets me because part of me wants to use sooo badly, and a part of me doesn’t. I’ve been holding on to the part that doesn’t. I’ve been trying so hard, and she just accuses me. I’m pissed. I dunno what to do anymore.
    Sorry I just needed to vent.

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