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    so i was having trouble with whether messing with my meds, i.e. taking my scrpt like my night time med in the morning for a little bit of a “high” was cosidered a “relapse” for a while i was even crushing and snorting my ritalin script and thought nothing of it…”i could take it up the butt if i want, im still not taking more than prescribed a day” hooo boy, the thoughts of a sick mind.
    I will take or drink anything i can to get any kind of head change. I have drank mouthwash, i have drank vanillla, i have drank cough med. i have taken any kind of pill avail. to me… as of today i have 30 days of complete sobriety, no messing with my meds, no NOTHING… i am in an outpatient program and just yesterday a woman offered me tramadol… i literally got butterflies, felt dizzy, nauseous, but i turned it down, i cant say i wasnt tempted as all hell, but after i was so proud of myself. And today i feel so good… i havent had 30 days of complete sobriety in so many years, and here i am! i am doing it!

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