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Well, Ive been sober again now for about two weeks. There is alot of time I just sit and think about things when I used to fill that time drinking. I get depresed and worried, I think I must have an anxiety disorder or something because I worry to death about the stupidest things and I cant stop, Anyway, Sometimes I just want to bang my head on something or take a baseball bat to my own head to knock some sense into me, This got me thinking that maybe that was what alcohol was, it was that baseball bat to the head. It made me forget all my problems. Everything was OK when I was drunk, My problems werent magnified and I didnt have to worry about them. Alcohol “helped me” in that sense. It was the baseball bat to the head.
Now that Im sober, and actually have to deal with my problems, its hard to get started. Its definitely a learning process. A wild roller coaster ride, sometimes Im up, sometimes Im down. But all I know is I want to ride this ride sober.
Ah but the thrill of the ride is WAY better sober. And remember, every roller coaster ride ends and we get off, then go eat some obscenely expensive lousy food 🙂
I can sooooo relate to you. I started drinking 5 yrs ago to self medicate my depression and anxiety disorder. What a HUGE mistake that was. My drinking became heavier and heavier day by day, week by week. Before I stopped drinking (the beginning of June) my depression and anxiety were so bad I didn’t want to live anymore. I checked myself into a partial hospitalization program for 5 weeks and it worked wonders. I was put on Zoloft about 7 weeks ago and it just really started kicking in about two weeks ago. I can’t begin to tell you what a difference it has made in my life. My depression is gone and my anxiety is almost non-exsistent.
I don’t know if you are open to therapy or not, but it really helped me….along with the meds.
As always.. seeing a medical professional is the wisest move.
My depression fled at 3 months sober with no meds.
This is not true for everyone, so you need to find out.
Many sober alcoholics do need medication for various ailments.
Are you aware of PAWS?
We have a thread going on with that topic.Congratulations on your sober time..:HulaDance
Clarity4me wrote:Well, Ive been sober again now for about two weeks. There is alot of time I just sit and think about things when I used to fill that time drinking. I get depresed and worried, I think I must have an anxiety disorder or something because I worry to death about the stupidest things and I cant stop, Anyway, Sometimes I just want to bang my head on something or take a baseball bat to my own head to knock some sense into me, This got me thinking that maybe that was what alcohol was, it was that baseball bat to the head. It made me forget all my problems. Everything was OK when I was drunk, My problems werent magnified and I didnt have to worry about them. Alcohol “helped me” in that sense. It was the baseball bat to the head.Now that Im sober, and actually have to deal with my problems, its hard to get started. Its definitely a learning process. A wild roller coaster ride, sometimes Im up, sometimes Im down. But all I know is I want to ride this ride sober.
AA has a plan of action called the 12 steps that will put you on the road to taking care of the worry and stress of trying to get sober. Try it you might like it.
Hi Clarity and welcome. I know the road is a tough one, but you will make it. If there is anything anyone can do to make your journey easier, just ask.
Peace, Levi
good analogy. baseball bat. i tried to quiet my mind for years, only to find that it just keeps flowing, this stream of consciousness. i finally learned to float instead of fight the current…..
Clarity4me wrote:Its definitely a learning process. A wild roller coaster ride, sometimes Im up, sometimes Im down. But all I know is I want to ride this ride sober.me too,
love and peace,
Brigid 🙂I have to agree, the thing about the roller coaster, while it is generally quite scary, in my experience, the first few times around, after that it levels out and becomes a kiddy ride!
Peace, Levi
Thanks, Clarity. That is what I did in my drinking as well. I was also taking meds while drinking, rendering them ineffective. After I got sober (one year ago today), the meds magically began to work and a lot (not all) of the anxiety and depression went away. I still have to deal with some of it, but that is part of the roller coaster. Just knowing that I can be on the ride and be aware of what is going on the entire ride is bliss!!
Enjoy the ride!
SazzerCongrats on your 2 weeks. I too use to self medicate with drinking. Took me a long time to realize it wasn’t helping my problems, just making them worse. Funny how I’d wake up and the problem was still there.
Come to find out, a lot of my problem was me!! LOL I just couldn’t get away from myself!!
Keep up the good work.
My depression is tied to my drinking, as well.
I tried meds once (Prozac). It made my cravings increase and I drank.
Meds are not a path for me.Sobriety is, it seems.
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