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- December 27, 2016 at 2:56 pm#41185AnonymousInactive
I am 4 months sober and am on my 3rd go around. In 2008-2009 I had 14 mths. sober and everyone back in my life. I had my job, a new condo., friends and family(my daughter) back in my life. For some unearthly reason, I picked up a drink and was off to the races again. In a matter of 3 months, I lost my job, shared custody of my daughter and my family members dropped like flies. My daughter and my ex-husband still stuck around waiting for me to get better. I would gain 2 mths. of sobriety just to let them down again with a relapse.
May 2010 came and I was 2 mths. and my daughter and ex went to Europe for her birthday present. I was left to watch the pets and I tied one on. Inviting a friend over to help me get sober. She ended up drinking with me and when they returned I was so out of it they left me sleeping. I began convulsing in front of my daughter and the paremedics were called. I was rushed to the emergency room and spiraled down from there. In and out of hospitals, jobless, alone and guilt driven, I drank more and more. Trying to drink myself to death because of the pain I had caused my family again. I was lost, but manage to get to a meeting and got taken to detox. After detoxing a few days, I signed myself out of the hospital to drink again. I called a woman from aa and she came over, poured my alcohol out and took me to a meeting.
Today I have 4 months sober and I got a job. I am slowly putting my life back together, but the holidays have been tough. My family has shut me out and my daughter wants nothing to do with me. I try desperately to practice acceptance, but it eats away at me daily. I am off for 2 weeks and tired of the holidays. I am heading to a meeting, but wanted to know if anyone has any experience strength and hope with this. My mother was a drug addict and alcoholic. I know how my daughter feels, but I dont want her to give up on me. I am struggling with being angry at myself, but then I get angry because I am sober and no wants anything to do with me. :react:react
If anyone can offer advice to make this bearable, I would appreciate it.
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