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  • #37433

    Hi there
    I have been drinking heavily for years, the last four years it has been daily.
    I was drinking a bottle ocheap vodka and some beers daily (maybe a mickey of gin as well )(every other day)
    I was hospitalised three times and had the blood work done etc…had pancreatitus twice and blown the lining in my stomach twice.
    Found out that the vodka i was drinking was loaded with methanol. took two months sober, relapsed
    So after all that I cut down to 12 beers per day on average) and shorts in bars just on weekends with my wife…
    my question is this…I really want to quit, but I am so scared…
    When I drink I can go outside, when I dont drink I always feel theres someone or something out to get me??? I am constantly staying inside and I dont have the resouces to go to meetings in the country I live in right now.
    I hear people speaking of fear as fear itself…but I really feel that someone is gonna kick in the door at any second if I dont drink, I have all the blinds down, I think everyone on the street is looking at me etc…its crazy???
    But as soon as I drink I feel I dont care or become numb.
    I have only drank 7 beers per day at the start of this week and yesterday it was just five ,today two and I want to be 24 hours clean by saturday…
    Can anyone share their stories of fear with me, cause i aint feeling any better by myself right now…feels like i am going nuts..

    Any replies would be much needed

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