- This topic has 25 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 3 months ago by Anonymous.
- September 20, 2013 at 3:00 pm#31030AnonymousInactive
I have wondered this for a while, the main reason for this wondering is I have wondered what my dad thought of alcoholics who needed AA to recover.
My dad spent the last 19 years of his life sober (He died at 53) and as far as I know he did it on his own.
He got sober in 1953 so the only program back then was AA or nothing and I have wondered what his view of folks in AA was.
How do those of you with long term sobriety (5+ years) with out:
12 step variants
LifeRing Secular Recovery
SOS – Secular Organisations for Sobriety
Women for Sobriety
All Other support groups
view those of us who have needed the help of support groups to maintain sobriety?
I am not trying to compare any programs of recovery to another here, just wanted the view of folks like my dad who have done it for a good length of time on thier own.September 20, 2013 at 3:21 pm#161447AnonymousInactive
I have 7 years of sobriety and for the past 4 years, I’ve used 12 Step National Meetings as my lifeline. I find inspiration here every time I come, and I learn. It’s helped a lot in my recovery. I’ve said many times that I focus on recovery every day – physical, mental and spiritual. I have to, there is no question in my mind about that. For the first 3 years, I used books, which is always something I’ve turned to, in difficult times.
My view towards others in recovery is to not judge anyone. Any method that works is great. I think tolerance is the key for all of us.September 20, 2013 at 3:29 pm#161445AnonymousInactive
🙂 I personally know alcoholics who use their religion
as a sucessful recovery method.
As they are not 12 Step National Meetings members…I will speak for them.
None seem to mind that I use AA rather than church.September 20, 2013 at 3:29 pm#161465AnonymousInactive
7 YEARS .. that is AWESOME! Congrats!
I’ve only got 7 and half months, though I feel great, I can’t answer the question here because of the time I have in and also I don’t do it alone. I have a therapist and I participate in group therapy along with other support systems I have built up.
I bet you see a lot of the older generation just quitting and staying quit because of the times and less opportunity, don’t forget that way back then there were also better family values and the times were just very different. I’m willing to bet even that that generation produced a lot of still continuing functioning alcoholics too.
Some who do it also might have some sort of support system in place, ? I don’t know it’s a good question though.September 20, 2013 at 3:56 pm#161450AnonymousInactive
For 9 years I depended solely upon not drinking, AND living my spiritual philosophy, a Vedic Dharma religion from India.
I returned to AA 2 years ago primarily for sober fellowship, not for learning about the 12 steps, because the 12 steps of AA, in my view, are derived from these very same (pre-Christian) spiritual principles, and they both serve me as a guide for living in the sunlight of the spirit.
It took me a lot of time to translate AA jargon into my own understanding and to let somethings go b y, but, all in all, I love AA. But i am still a practicing Ayurvedic Hindu, and AA is not number 1 in my life. Serving God and humanity is. Then living my personal Dharma, which includes AA. Then myself.September 20, 2013 at 4:05 pm#161454AnonymousInactive
Thanks Anna you seem to have found the keys to recovery on your own which I had to have shown/taught to me.
I really do not feel my dad looked down upon AAers, he to my knowledge only had the support of my mom at the time. He passed when I was 19, the only thing I ever really knew was that he was an alcoholic, there was no booze allowed in my house, I know that the subject of my dad being an alcoholic was openly discussed because my dad and mom wanted to make sure that my brother and I knew it ran in the family.
I just wish I knew how he recovered, because one thing he was not was a dry drunk, he was a great father and husband who loved life and I strive to be half the man he was before I die.September 20, 2013 at 4:08 pm#161455AnonymousInactive
Miss C. a very interesting path indeed, if I am not being nosy did alcoholism led you to your spiritual philosphy for recovery?September 20, 2013 at 5:09 pm#161451AnonymousInactive
ask away! My life is an open book!
No, initially I grew very unhappy in the religion of my childhood (Catholicism) as it was presented to me by my family. At the age of 12 I announced to my family that I no longer believed in God. They were horrified. I insisted that I would no longer attend Mass, to which i was told that I MUST worship God, in some church, 1 time per week,
That began my quest. Each week I visited various temples, churches, synogogues, even B’Hai Faith firesides and Quaker Meetings.
I ended up at the Vedanta Temple. I was welcomed and cherished by the Hindi/Bengali community, and they took good care to teach me simple lessons.
Alcohol is forbidden in the Hindi traditions, with the exception of celebrations and medicinal draksha. It is a very different culture than the European one. I feel that, with globalization, we will begin to see more alcoholism develop among Indians. Currently, it is not describede as a disease other than a weakness. I also see my role as a servant of the recovery message if needed by this group of beautiful people.
PS After I got sober in AA , I was initiated and ordained as a minister. I am also a healthcare practitioner and teach yogic healing.
Sorry if this rambled. I am at work…3 phone calls interrupted me.September 20, 2013 at 5:13 pm#161453AnonymousInactive
AA or not AA probably isnt that important a question. The important question is can the addict adopt a method of living built on rigorous honesty and do they have the desire to STOP drinking/using.
I did try to quit on my own. It didnt work very well for me: While I could avoid the bottle, I was more miserable than ever.
For this alcoholic, only the AA program gave me the boundaries to live the way I needed to in order to stay sober. Although AA doesnt have the market cornered on honesty and the desire for a “clean” life, it does offer the right tools for those of us who need and want them..September 20, 2013 at 5:16 pm#161459AnonymousInactive
My father in law just stopped at one point after being a daily drinker. I believe he hasn’t touched a drop for over 20 years. He stays busy pottering about and helping the neighbors who can’t get out much.September 20, 2013 at 6:20 pm#161463AnonymousInactive
To me this is a very interesting subject.
My Father’s father was an alcoholic. No question there, my dad used to bail him out of jail because he was locked up again. He was the president of a bank and so it was pretty much all overlooked. He also left my farter and his mom when my dad was 10 or so. My father hated him. there is more to the story, but…
My dad was a workaholic. Oh sure, he drank, and maybe quite a bit. The only time I had any sort of one on one emotional time with him is when he had had a few. This was the only time he showed any emotion at all and he was happy, outgoing, and funny. He did seem to control it very well. I really don’t know. Maybe I never will, and maybe that’s the way it should be.
Taz, some things we may never know.September 20, 2013 at 6:24 pm#161464AnonymousInactive
For what it’s worth,
Now my dad has dementia. No, not alsheimers, something quite more rare.
I am up in Maine helping mom who is visiting him every day in the nursing home.
Multiple falls from strokes. Not good. Not gonna get better…September 20, 2013 at 9:36 pm#161452AnonymousInactive
I imagine that would be a difficult question to get an answer to. Anyone using this board is not doing it on their own.
janeSeptember 20, 2013 at 10:45 pm#161446AnonymousInactive
🙂 Jane….excellent pointSeptember 20, 2013 at 10:57 pm#161448AnonymousInactive
Taz, I think you know that I am firmly 12 Step. I tried other things, and I could never stay away from booze or any other substance for long.
I grew up in a family with more than its share of drunks. A number of them died from the disease or as a result of not being able to live with the disease (suicide). My father, at his death, was just a week shy of twenty-four & a half years sober without AA. Chemically sober, that is.
Oh, there were differences in my dad after he stopped drinking. His inhibitions without booze kept him from being as outwardly violent. He could still strike you down with his mouth in one good shot, though. The only period I remember him being really happy in all that time was when I moved back home and gave birth to my son. My son seemed to become his purpose, and he was better for awhile.
I’m not going to call him a dry drunk. I’m just saying — he stayed away from booze, but sobering up without anything else didn’t do him (or those around him) a whole lot of good. Fewer things were broken, and there weren’t any more fists flying, but he never found any lasting “happy, joyous and free.”
A number of his drinking buddies who were a lot like him while drinking got sober in AA. They became different people. Happy people. Pleasant people to be around.
I’m not saying that AA is the only way to find happiness or a decent life. I just know that without it, my father and those closest to him didn’t get to experience the kind of life I would have wished for him. Then again, I’m assuming that even he didn’t like himself the way he was.
My two cents.
(Didja get cake yesterday?
Oh, btw…today is my hubby’s five years anniversary. Former atheist, narcissist, all around drunken a**hole, sober five years in Alcoholics Anonymous. Termed now, “Hell of a nice guy.”)
Peace & Love,
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