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- May 16, 2017 at 4:06 pm#42868AnonymousInactive
This is the third thread I am posting within one hour, but I don’t care. I am just going to keep writing because that’s my thing, and it helps me.
Anyway, people say Addiction is a demon. I am starting to think that it literally is. Now that I have separated myself from it, I can still feel it beside me (and occasionally within me). The spiritual feeling of its presence is tangible and undeniable. And it’s as if it is actually trying to get me back. There is my HP on one side and the addiction on the other, and both are spiritual forces pulling me in one direction or the other.
The other night when I succumbed to alcohol, my BF and I went into this old barn at my friend’s house where the party was beind held because I wanted to check out the chickens/roosters. Even though it was around midnight, the radio was blaring in the chicken coop. We figured that maybe chickens like listening to music, but I was freaked out by the feeling hanging in the air. The one rooster felt threatened and was about to attack us, so that didn’t help. This was before I drank, but I definitely felt a presence there urging me to partake. And once I did, I felt it again, urging me to go further into it by drinking more (I did) and smoking weed (I didn’t).
Today after I went to an AA meeting with my sponsor, she had to grab some papers for her son. Since she didn’t know how long that would take, I sat outside in her car listening to a recovery CD. I swear that this is true: THE RADIO TURNED THE RECOVERY CD OFF, FLIPPED THROUGH A BUNCH OF STATIONS, and went to a song which was solely about drinking, partying, and taking shots. As soon as that song was over, it immediately flipped through the stations again and went to the same song that had been on in the barn the night of the party. When we turned the radio off, it turned itself back on and kept going crazy but would not allow us to listen to the CD. My sponsor was freaked out too and said the radio had never done anything like that before.
I know it could be coincidence, and it might sound crazy, but it isn’t an isolated incident, and I actually feel as if addiction is its own entity and is trying really hard to get me back right now. Has anyone else had any bizarre experiences like this?
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