- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by Anonymous.
- May 22, 2016 at 8:41 pm#39341AnonymousInactive
Hi, I’m back again after many months of sobriety, last night I succumbed to alcohol, I had 5 cans of beer and promised my wife after it that it was my lot..
However today I struggled through the day with horrendous anxiety and the thought that 7 more cans were in the refrigerator.
My wife asked me to dump them down the drain,
she told me she’d leave if I drank them so like a true alky I couldn’t resist and started on them.
She left crying and begged me to stop, as I got to the fifth beer , I rang her to come back and emptied the rest down the drain.
My wife came back and we had something to eat but now an hour later the urge is back again.
I feel like walking/driving to the nearest pub but I know she’ll be gone when I come back and so will my life.
She is so good to me and I don’t want to loose her but I’m at the stage I would sneak one without her knowing if I could.
Why are the urges so damn chronic???
I’ve suffered months since my last slip with chronic anxiety and tried everything AA and NA for help.. Been to meetings everyday, handed it over, prayed my heart out.. Studied addiction counselling but nothing works except drink or drugs…
I’ve been seeing my therapist every forth night and psych every month.
What more can I do except “keep away from that first drink or drug” which is where I’m having the trouble with..
I feel 2morrow will be the same all over except maybe worse with the anxiety..
I know there is no quick fix but I hate myself for what I’ve done again..:c020:
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