Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Alcohol Abuse How did you handle a break up without drinking ?

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    Anonymous
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    For those of you who are long time sober folks , How did you do it ( if you ever did ? )

    I’ve been working on quitting drinking since January , and I wasn’t being very successful in the process. I could manage 3-4 days, then it would fall into a 3-4 day binge…. the cycle continued.

    My GF of 4 years quit back in November ( we were more or less constant drinking buddies over 3.5 years of our relationship ) and never really got treatment other than once a week counseling , she got a very high horse of sobriety and more or less threw a fit if I drank anything at all. Of course my behavior and built up resentments caused alot of problems there with anger. So I don’t blame her for all of it.

    I checked myself into rehab on April 19th for a week long detox while she went to Miami to be with her Girlfriends for Easter Weekend. . I got out on April 25th and the first time we really spent time together was this past weekend.

    Naturally things were strained with me focusing so hard on sobriety and myself while she felt neglected because I was not giving into all of the same things I used to which were triggers for me. Even though I stayed at her house all weekend , I had meetings to go to and was avoiding any kind of conflict that my trigger me to want to drink. I was no longer jumping at her every request.

    Well Sunday she texts me ( REALLY A TEXT ??? ) to tell me she needs time , she has too many resentments towards me , I need to be selfish right now … etc, etc. That the past 48 hours told her what she needed to know.

    I handled it pretty well that day as I knew it was a very real possibility that with neither of us drinking the common denominator between us would be gone. So I was fairly well mentally prepared for it.

    Then the day before yesterday some things she had said really hit home and I realized that we really weren’t good for each other in our current state. ( like that song Tomorrow by Chris young )Which made me very sad. Still makes me very sad.

    I have two children whom I have custody of ( although my 15 yr old daughter is staying with my parents at the moment while I work through some of this ). My son is too young to understand many of the issues as they really haven’t effected him much at this point.

    I don’t know if being so knew into recovery is a good or bad thing at this point. Sometimes I’m angry at her timing , sometimes I’m sad at the reality , sometimes I just want to say ” **** it all ” and go drink.

    I know this is a terrible idea , and unhealthy and I’m doing this for me and my kids and not her. I know this would be the easy way out , but it seems that there are not enough meetings or I don’t have the time to get to enough to help distract me from it all. It feels like so many changes happening so fast.

    Quit drinking
    5 AA meetings a week + church
    1 Counselor appointment a week
    Meeting with sponsor 1 day a week
    Taking care of my son
    Now dealing with the emotional loss of a 4 year relationship that I thought and hoped would be my last one ever.

    So for those of you who had similar situations …. how did you handle it ? what did you do ? :tyou

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