Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Alcohol Abuse How Many Times Have We Read The Following –

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  • #38718

    “Help! I’m an alcoholic – I’m in trouble with
    (fill in the blank here – family/gf/bf/law/work/landlord/bills)
    and I need help…
    but I can’t go to AA and I can’t tell anyone!”

    How many times, y’all?

    I am certain
    that the primary reason they say
    they can’t go to AA
    has nothing to do with God.
    They’re not afraid of God.
    No one is afraid of God
    until they think they’re about to meet him.

    I think it has everything to do with
    the truth.
    The past.
    And facing it.
    We’re more afraid of who we really are,
    than we are afraid of a Supreme Being.

    I know that it was for me.

    THe thought of
    finding my children
    and facing up to my part in our big split
    was greater a barrier
    than meeting my Maker.

    I was literally ready to die
    and leave this bit of business

    But over time-
    working as HONEST a program as I am able
    being thorough from the very start
    and knowing –
    I have another drink left in me
    but I do NOT have another chance in this life…..

    it’s just a gut-level knowing.
    Not a guess, or a belief or a suspicion
    it’s a flat- out fact ….
    this is my last chance…..

    By working the program suggested
    in Alcoholics Anonymous
    by letting others lead me
    by folowing their example
    (some very good)
    (others ‘dont let this happen to you’)
    (do NOT wind up like this hokey f*&$er)
    and learning to be kind to myself
    learning that I am a member of this rat race
    and my opinion, my breathing, my life, my BEING HERE AT ALL
    does not need an explanation, an apology, or even an excuse…..

    when it was TIME for me to make that jump….
    to speak the unspeakable
    and jump into the unknown….

    I heard the instruction.
    I understood.
    I could do what I was being led to do..
    I was ready.

    People shouldn’t push to get these things done, IMO.
    These major terror fear apology things
    that push so many away from AA.
    That’s just more disrespecting ot the Self.
    Or letting someone else set your own timetable.

    When you do the Program,
    GIVE to it the time energy and attention
    you gave to your drinking and harming –
    and focus everything you have no further
    than today maybe sometimes tomorrow….
    do it and do it and do it
    until it’s a habit not a drudgery…

    you will learn to trust your Inner Gudance….
    and the same can happen for you.
    The same WILL happen for you.

    I remember when I first came to recovery
    I knew I’d never do this one thing.
    I could do ALL the other suggestions
    but this one thing
    would be a black spot on my heart until my final day.

    Shows how much we know when we get here!

    Keep at it.
    Keep going back.
    Keep reading.
    Keep trying.
    Keep peeling the onion.

    When it’s time.
    And not a moment before.

    My prayers will be with you.

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