- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
- July 22, 2016 at 12:37 pm#39823AnonymousInactive
I cannot get myself to tell my husband that I have a problem with alcohol, I am an alcoholic, or whatever it is. i have all kind of internal dialogues in my head finding ways and words, but it never comes out.
First of all, I think he would not believe me – We work together, we spend lots of time together and he would think I am in drama queen mode. And second, I am too ashamed of doing this but I know I must….
So far it has been easy to say I was not having a drink. He has seen me many times not having one. But on Monday my kids will be with their grandmother for a week and feels so difficult to say no to a drink with him without a very powerful excuse. I am sure he is expecting a bit of excess in hour childless week.
In my case, my alcoholism has not got worse with the years. I was in a much worse place 10 years ago when I also became alcohol dependent and had clear physical symptoms. Living with my husband, pregnancies, kids has kept me under certain level of control. But it is a lie. i have hidden alcohol, I have drunk as much as I could when I was left alone in trips. I have also drunk huge amounts when alone with kids at home :c020:. I have vomitted trying to sober up full of shame in these occassions.
I do not know how to tell him all this. I guess it feels so wrong to tell him that I was lying to him all along. To confess I already knew when I met him but I hid it.
Needed to write this again.
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