Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Substance Abuse I got honest with myself this morning

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    I was scheduled to have my esophagus stretched this morning. I had an endoscopy in February because it felt like food was getting stuck where my esophagus meets my stomach.

    After the procedure, the doctor told me that he stretched my esophagus as it was more narrow than normal and that I would have to do this every two years.

    I scheduled another endoscopy for this morning stating that food was again getting stuck.

    I took the day off work, got up early, took a shower and then it dawned on me. Am I being honest here? Is food REALLY getting stuck or did I love the Demerol so much that I am willing to have a scope shoved down my throat just to get high?

    They put you in a kind of twilight state and I loved it. So yes, I was willing to have the scope shoved down my throat and have my esophagus stretched with a larger “stretcher” just to get the Demerol injected into my vein.

    Food is NOT getting stuck and I WAS willing to have the procedure done just to get high. OMG – what kind of addict am I? This is freakin’ crazy.

    My friends have been calling me asking how the procedure went, and I am too embarrassed to tell the truth, so I lied to them saying it was a breeze….no problems….no after effects…blah blah blah

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