Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Substance Abuse I just need strength/hope please

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    Anonymous
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    I am on detox hour 46 from a 3 year, 5 10 mgs per day lortab addiction. I feel terrible right now. Just that general crappy ass feeling. My hands and feet are super sweaty, yawning, etc.

    This is not new to me as in 07′ I quit cold turkey and stayed clean for 92 days, yet I relapsed after having an abcessed tooth and it was off to the races from there. I never went ONE day WITHOUT pills from then. I found a doctor to prescribe me the pills b/c I’ve had previous back surgery. So, I was in heaven, so I thought.

    Now, I’ve realized that the last 3 years of my life have been a lie to everyone. I have a wonderful husband, who I MADE go to the same dr and get a script as well, so I could take his pills too. I was only prescribed 4 per day, and I needed 5, so I had to take his meds too. Sick. Sick. Sick.

    He has been clean for a while now and I thank god for that everyday. I have 3 kids (twins who are 7, and a 12 yr old) and I feel as though I’ve robbed them of a mother. The depression is daunting, along with the physical withdrawals.

    I’ve attended a few n/a meetings, but I just feel so uncomfortable there, I’ve always been a SUPER shy person, so I feel as though I could never share, for fear that I would sound like an idiot.

    I hope there is someone out there, who has some hope for me.

    Thanks for reading and may God bless.

    Brandi

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