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    Hi, my name is Rayven, Im 25 years old, happily married, great job, no kids right now and a husband that would give me the world if he could. The only problem is that Im beginning to see a problem with meds that contain Hydrocodone.

    About 5 years ago my sister started taking Lortabs for pain due to her hysterectomy. She started off really needing them for pain but it began to be a habit. She strted feeling good and although she didnt need them all of the time she would share her prescriptions with me. I started taking them once a month for about a week or two at a time, only when she had them. I was fine with or without them.

    I didnt hurt, I was just taking them to get high. Before long I felt like I needed them and everytime she would get her meds she would give me 10 or 20 of them. Well, i moved out of my moms house for about a year and a half and I found myself not thinking about them and not wanting them at all. During this time she became more and more dependent on them. In the year and a half that I was clean she became severely addicted. To the point that she gave her kids (4) to my mom, went from 220 pounds to 100 pounds soaking wet. She doesnt care about herself anymore or her kids.

    Well, I had to move back in due to some situations with my ex and I found out that my mom was getting a monthly prescription for 90 tabs for her Fibromyalgia. My mom didnt take them so she would give me a few here and there and stupid me started taking them all over again. She would give them to me because I would lie to her and tell her that my tooth would ache or I didnt feel good or something to pretty much make her feel bad for me. I never had the guts to tell her, “Hey mom, Im addicted to them!”

    I didnt want to lie to her like that or hurt her because she was and still is struggling with my sisters addiction and now my step dads addiction to Lortab. I take them every chance I get. If I have extra money I will buy them, but its not all of the time. I have outstanding ER bills from going to the ER and getting pain killers, Lortab or whatever. My mom still thinks that Im not hooked and she will give them to me if I give her a pity story.

    I feel like a monster and I dont want this to continue. I deffinately dont want my addiction to worsen. I dont seem to have withdrawal symptoms though. I can go a week or two without them and feel fine. Maybe, and rarely the first day I may have a headache or upset stomach but thats it. Its been going on like this for 4 years. I feel blessed that it hasnt got any worse but I do feel like its getting to the point that I need them more and more.

    I can admit that my will power isnt that good. When Im around them or have a chance to get them, I will although everything inside of me is screaming NO!

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