But I continue despite the amazing difficulties life has shown me from drinking and using. Jail, Monitoring, Probation, Family, Girlfriends.

The hardest thing is truly knowing I love this woman, and being sober will open up things with her again. But I continue to drink, despite wanting and knowing I should be sober.

I have attended AA for 3 years. Am most recently working with a sponsor on step 4, but I have stalled him. And he has the attitude, that I need to make the contact. Which makes sense, if I wanna work through these steps.

I have been stuck in this struggle for 3 years, and 2 dwi’s and many issues later, I would love to be done.

However, I AM A REAL ALCOHOLIC, and need to quit telling myself otherwise. I am just so frustrated with life lately, but things aren’t so bad at all. Thats the insanity that comes with drinking. I HATE it. (feels weird doing this again for the umteenth time, but I have to share with someone)

On a positive note, I have made plans to meet up with an old friend of mine on Sunday. I am excited, as we are both nerds, and had a ton in common before I decided seeking a buzz was more important than true friends. :c020:

Feedback and Thoughts would be appreciated. I am struggling. Thanks ALL for reading.