Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Alcohol Abuse I want to drink more than I want to quit

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  • #160757
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    QUOTE: Have you suffered enough pain?

    Have you truly surrendered?

    It’s true. I’ve had enough bottoms to make up a Baywatch episode but this one finally licked me. I hope you don’t have to go too much further down to realise that health is more worth having than a slow painful demise into insanity and death.
    Let us know how you’re getting on.
    Amelia x

    #160736
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @DoingWell 1484206 wrote:

    Now my dad is 62 years old. Each night about 20 minutes before bed he likes to have a small glass of scotch. One glass that’s it, he’s done that for about 30 years, and he’s not about to give it up for anything and he’ll tell you that, he doesnt’ care if he’s dependent on that one small glass a night or not, he likes it and that’s that.
    I accept that, one bottle lasts him 2 months and sometimes for xmas or his birthday one of us will get him a nice brand. Only you can decide if you have a problem and what path you will take.

    Also you know it’s ok to have these questions and thoughts, try not to beat yourself up over them, it’s the actions that you choose that matter.

    Lin

    How true how true. A glass of scotch, out of a bottle that lasts 2 months??? Nothing I relate to, and therein lies the difference.

    Oh, how I wish it were different….

    And sometimes, however sobriety has wonderful rewards. Maybe we ARE the lucky ones.

    Jhana

    #160735
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Well if you want to drink more than you want to quit then more than likely you will end up drinking.

    i should have stopped drinking long before 1996 but lacked the willingness.When you are ready you will know it. We’ll be here for you when you are.

    #160752
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey, I’d LOVE to have a few glasses of wine and call it a night. I’d love to be able to keep bottles of wine in my house for any period of time for “company”. I can’t. I KNOW that.

    Maybe you don’t yet, and that’s great. Maybe you don’t have a problem with alcohol, but something brought you here.

    I do know, that I’ve been concerned about my drinking and wondering if I might have a problem since I was in my early 20’s and I’m 43 now. I waited to seek help until I was SURE that I had a problem..and I really wish that I couldn’t been brave enough to stop back then.

    #160760
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey Mrsmurph, I hope you find the answer. Because being undecided on your path is the painful part. If you are an alcoholic then you are in the right place. If not, try and control your drinking and see what happens. If you cant we’ll be waiting here to help you. 🙂

    At this point in the game there are no right and wrong decisions. There are just decisions. Follow your head and do what you think you need to do. Eventually you will be led to the right path.

    Just ask yourself one question though. Would a `normal` drinker be having these sort of internal battles if they went a few days without a drink? Not on your nelly! I think you know in your heart you are on this old elevator….

    #160767
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thanks so much everyone.

    I just don’t feel I’ve been honest with myself about many things, drinking included. This week of clarity has shown me that
    1. I can abstain and nothing terrible will happen.
    2. Sodas do not make your face all puffy in the morning and your mouth taste like a dirty sock BLECH!
    3. If not an alcoholic I am definitely a problem drinker.
    4. I am not going to go to AA anymore. For some reason since I went I have been in crisis/end of the world mode. I need to think about why this is.
    5. I plan to continue not drinking for a while, I don’t know how long, maybe forever. If nothing else I need a break and to get my head on straight and wrapped around this.
    6. I am living today, not tommorrow, not forever.

    This group has helped me so much. You’ve listened to my rants, my stories, and offerred me such great advice, experience and wisdom. I hope I can continue to come here whether or not I drink, because in the end I just want to be in control, and for this not to get any worse, and I think that’s a common goal of all of us here.

    Have a great, sober, and relaxing weekend, whatever you do to achieve it.

    :Val004:

    #160748
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Have a huge cup of coffee with lots of sugar and cream instead, better than a beer IMHO.

    #160761
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Sounds like a good plan to me Mrsmurph 🙂

    You have a good weekend too. Try not to get too upset and enjoy being sober (even if for a little while).

    God Bless

    #160770
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @mrsmurph 1484059 wrote:

    . Or have like 2 beers watching the game instead of 8, or A glass of wine with dinner, not the whole bottle. Maybe I can? I really really want to. Everybody else can, maybe if I exercised a little willpower and self control instead of my old I don’t give a fk attitude?

    Ugh, I don’t know what to do

    Read your statement above, here. Does this sound like the statement of a normal, social drinker? You say that you want, so badly, to have one or two beers,…..but, have you EVER just wanted one or two beers? What makes you think that you will ever be happy stopping at one or two beers? Look how “not drinking” ruined what should have been a nice, pleasant meal? I’d say drinking is totally dominating your thoughts. That is not the mind of a social drinker. And willpower has nothing to do with an alcoholic not drinking. Nothing. The part of the brain where willpower manifests is a totally different part than where addiction does. That is why alcoholics cannot seem to stop. Thats why,..to alcoholics,..for a long long time,…quitting seems hopeless. I ask you this,….if quitting had anything to do with willpower,….how would anyones drinking ever get to the point of “hopeless”??

    #160750
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey MrsMurph,

    I like having you around and as far as I am concerned, you can keep showing up here for as long as you wish!

    #160740
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    hey mrsmurph!

    everyone has said some wonderful things!! the only thing i can add is this;
    while reading your post it reminded me of something i once read! maybe it will help!

    “when i was controlling my drinking i wasnt having fun, when i was having fun i wasnt controlling my drinking!”

    that just made sense to me! when i was controlling it,or shall i say trying to, i was constantly watching other people drink and counting their drinks too! i wasnt doing it intentionally but i was doing it. i was always comparing myself to them, well if they can have one more so can i, they seem to be ok! dont get me wrong my drinking got me into a whole lot of trouble but at the time i thought i was having fun, at least until the morning and i awoke with every emotion you could possibly feel! i have to remember that i cant compare myself to someones outsides! just because they look like they are having fun i dont know what keeps them up at night!!

    good luck on your journey and i hope you find your path to happiness!!!

    #160741
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    After over 3 years of sobriety, which is now routine and somewhat easy, I occassionally think I can enjoy some mild, controlled drinking. That’s when I come to this board and see all the “experiments” that people in the same situation have tried and failed. I am thankful that they post these failures so that I may learn from them and not make the same mistake.

    jane

    #160739
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Welcome PipesMcgee

    Welcome *Amelia*

    I hope the two of you will keep posting and reading in this forum.

    Mrsmurph
    It sounds like you have a good plan. One day at at time works for many of us. I appreciate your honesty. Not all of us get the willingness to quit right away. Focusing on one day at a time is a solid plan. You may want to pray for the willingness to enjoy sobriety. Once you get the complete willingness, you may find that pure sobriety is BETTER than being able to have 1 or 2 beers. Willingness can lead to acceptance. Acceptance can be the cornerstone for a new and abundant life of sobriety.

    I wish you contented and happy sobriety.
    chip

    #160771
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    The only other thing I can really think to say on this subject is that I never wanted to have just one or two beers. To me, that was never “drinking”. For me, finishing two beers during a football game meant they just finished up the coin toss.

    #160743
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    example:

    this happened … ummm… tuesday.

    my next door neighbor lost her job. she called me over (which, in *my* new neighborhood means she leaned out her window and yells *barb! come over!* LOL
    so I did.
    she said, I don’t know if you can handle sitting here with me, but i’m gonna get drunk and I don’t want to be alone.
    she’s … not an alcoholic.
    so I told her if I got uncomfortable I’d leave.
    agreed.
    so we sit on her front porch –
    and she drinks a tall boy.
    *
    tht’s it.
    she went to bed.

    that’s (I think) how normal people do it.
    I just … sat there for a while.
    trying to figure out where the actual ‘drinking’ happened.

    OF COURSE I didn’t get aq craving … it was OVER too quick.

    LOL

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