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- December 1, 2016 at 2:15 am#40900AnonymousInactive
I decided to become sober 3 months ago and I broke up with my longtime boyfriend a month and a half ago. I blocked him from my phone and all my email accounts. He is a longtime hardcore alcoholic with all the stinkin thinkin thinking, running out of money, is hurting his work performance, etc. Our relationship has a long history of him manipulating, trying to control and always having his way, bullying, all the classic stuff. I had had enough for a long time and made sure i was ready when I made the decision to move on.
For me the spark is gone and I know I am done. I have been seeing a counselor and have released a lot of my anger and it has been easy for me to move on. I am enjoying my life and learning new things. He of course, would like to have me in his life on some level when he wants…which is why I keep things blocked.
Last night he created a new email account to email me and tell me that he was thinking about rehab, counseling and other options. I don’t believe him much when he says things like that, I’ve heard it before and he never follows through. I wrote him back and told him best wishes and the address for the local AA chapter. He wrote me and asked me to go with him. So I did this morning. He has never gone to an AA meeting.
He cried throughout the entire meeting. He was shaking and taking deep breaths. I’ve never seen him cry and he’s a big football player type, tough macho guy. He said, “I’m here because you said, ‘how’s that working for ya?’ and I realized it’s not working. This isn’t working.” When we left the meeting he was asking why it seemed easy for me to stay sober. I didn’t have any good answers other than I go to counseling and it isn’t easy. And he kept saying, “Thank you for offering this.” I didn’t offer it, he asked me to go. I get the impression he is trying to manipulate me into feeling like I’m going to save him so I’ll keep engaged with him and beg and try to save him. I can’t imagine him crying tears like that manipulatively, but I know him so well – I don’t believe them. I’m not interested in saving him for the record. I know that’s a lost cause and he needs to do his work himself.
What does everyone here think? Is he sincere in the moment at least?
Anyone here ever done this?
I really don’t think this is something he can pull off without going to a rehab anyway. There are just too many issues and the drinking is so out of control.
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