- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 5 years, 3 months ago by Anonymous.
- September 27, 2015 at 2:12 am#37519AnonymousInactive
I have been doing fine up till a couple weeks ago. Someone in our AA group relapsed, and it occurred to me,I can also. (I think this is when this started but I’m not sure)
Next monday will be 6 months for me being sober, and there have been several times the last few days, I almost gave in. But I have been telling myself (wait for your 6 month coin). I am afraid after monday I might give in. I damn sure don’t want to.
I really don’t know what has changed in the last 2 weeks. I guess before I told myself drinking just isn’t an option. But now I somehow have it in my mind that it is.
Before you ask (no I don’t have a sponsor) and (I havn’t got past step 4). I will certainly make this the topic of our meeting monday when I get my coin. But I just don’t know. It’s like someone flipped a switch,and my cravings came back.
Don’t get me wrong, I havn’t thrown in the towel. I have a lot of fight left. I have had cravings every 30 days, but this is just different. I guess this is what they mean by white knuckling it.
This is the longest I have been sober since I started drinking. So I’m in uncharted territory.
Maybe after monday I will be back to “drinking is not an option mode”. I sure hope so.
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