- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by Anonymous.
- May 25, 2016 at 5:24 am#39362AnonymousInactive
I have to apologise straight away as I can never manage to make proper paragraphs. I am coming up on 4 months clean very soon. I feel great, I get a lot of support from an NA group where I attend once a week, sometimes more. I exercise, and have basically enjoyed a nice re-immersion in my life up to this point. I struggle with trying not to get angry straight away when life throws me curve balls. I am getting a little better and I am trying to do the right thing to stay sober and actually recover and be a whole person again. It is frustrating sometimes but I am thankful for my life as it is now and am very glad that for some reason the phenomenon of cravings has pretty much been taken away. I don’t know why it has happened this way but I’m not gonna complain. SO everything is well..
Those who may not know, I very nearly died about ten months ago and had a freaky anonymous lady pretty much save my life in Mexico. I had literally lost everything so I came back, did suboxone taper and have been clean since Feb 9th 2010. I abused Tramadol mostly which is available without a prescription in Mexico. I mention this because I have planned a two week trip back to visit my mexican family and my girlfriend of ten years.
I made these plans and was quite happy and spoke wiht my cousin about my plans and she expressed concerns. She said she didnt want to take me down off my cloud, and I didn’t feel that way. I actually am glad that she mentioned this because I think to not be cautious would be pretty ignorant.
I was thinking how easy it is to obtain tramadol. its in any pharmacy. And I know that I will be alone for about half of every day SO I got down and thought of some things that I might do and I wondered if any off this seems ridiculous or naive to any of you. To me it seems these are the most obvious things I can do to help keep myself out of trouble.
FIrst off I did veterinary school in Mexico and made a lot of Vet friends so i thought that I would pretty much volunteer at my friends clinic everyday while I am there. It would give me something to occupy my time, and we are great friends. I also know where the NA meetings are. I strongly think I should go. Im not too awfully worried as most of the time after 3pm I ll be with sober people and very busy doing normal things, museums, coffee, dinners, movies, etc… but something inside of me tells me I need to take care of myself during those morning hours and not be alone stewing or letting myself get bored. ANy thoughts??? Opinions?? I realise I might be opening myself up for a few jabs but Im srry if it doesnt scare me, I value my peer’s opinions on this. You guys have been through these things and maybe even shared some of my conceptions on things is early recovery…in short I NEED to hear what your take on this is. Thanks for reading my boring drivel……………..Chris
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.