Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Substance Abuse It’s official: I’m hopeless

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    I was doing so well for 3 weeks. I was in Costa Rica with my family having a great time and oddly, I didn’t have any withdrawals….which I don’t understand. I was happy, slept great and just had a blast.

    Then I came back to the states. As soon as the plane was flying back to California, I WANTED xanax or norcos or weed or anything. Naturally, I checked my voicemail and my clueless doctor left me a 60 1MG supply of xanax (2 per day…ya right!) at the pharmacy….with 5 refills. Then god (or the devil perhaps?) struck again when I re inured my knee. My dad, a neuro radiologist, had a MRI done that day ….welll….it looked pretty bad. I had a huge bone bruise, some other medical terms….my dad summed it up with his coworker/friend as “sh** that’s painful.” Guess that meant more norcos!

    One bright note is that I am taking the norcos as prescribed….which is 1-2 every four hours. Sometimes I take 1, somtimes two. It’s still a lot. The supply is endless. One phone call to my dad and within an hour I’ll have 90 of them.

    And that week I went on a binge of all binges, for me anyway. I know this is so bad, but I gave some xanax to my best friend and his sister who are across the street and we just went to the beach, tried to surf with my knee…which kinda worked. We went shopping, which I found fun on xanax and basically fried out my last week of summer. I was also depressed about leaving for DC to do my congressional internship, so that’s part of it. I never used to do xanax during the day. But we were doing it at 10AM until the night. I would estimate 6mg per day….spread out over the course of the day.

    Now I’m in DC. I ran out of Xanax and frankly, I got sick of it. I was feeling sad when on xanax! :wtf2 So I went for a walk around the (beautiful!) U.S Capitol, Supreme Court, it was very uplifting. I get the keys to my new place today, meet the congressman’s staff. I’m excited.

    Maybe you can answer this. I just went through a ton of xanax in a two week time span and now I don’t want it, don’t have any withdrawals….why?

    I wanted to ask you advice. My knee is one issue, that can’t fix that….except god and I don’t even know he knows what do do with that… 😆

    What to do about xanax? I really feel it’s hopeless. My moron doctor thinks I have ADHD, which actually might be true. He gave me 20MG Ritalin LA and it actually does help my anxiety (ALOT!), helps me focus, my mind isn’t wandering about what pill I’m popping today and I don’t feel speedy or “high”. Just happier, focused, more productive and less drug seeking behavior.

    But I don’t take it all the time, hardly. Probalby two-three times a week, when you’re supposed to take it every day because I guess your mind gets used to it and that’s the way its done. It’s the most controlled substance of controlled substances, as I have to get a physical prescription for every refill!

    What do you think? What I think is I am a hopeless xanax & norco addict who is very productive and there’s nothing I can do. I am a functioning addict, I start my congressional internship on Tuesday, my grades have never been better, I’m in the honors program (one of 15 kids), I volunteer, yet I’m a pill popping addict! WTF.

    I know that’s pretty negative, but what would you say?

    Thanks for your help!

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