- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
- July 4, 2016 at 7:57 am#39696AnonymousInactive
Hi All, I’ve started feeling a lot better over the last few weeks, my eating has normalized and I’ve stayed sober. I feel like I’ve finally turned a corner and grown up, I really feel much more under control. I’ve stopped isolating and feel ready to start working again. It’s actually GREAT 🙂
One thing I’m struggling with however is that I’m still not convinced (my) alcoholism is an “incurable disease” which, I’m told, means I can’t honestly do the 12 steps of AA. This is because I still have a couple of beers when I see my Dad (once a month). Of course, AA strongly advise against ever drinking alcohol because of the risk of setting off the craving and feeding the obsession. I understand this is risky for many but it doesn’t set me off on a drinking binge – I have 2 beers with dinner and then I come home and go to bed, I don’t drink anymore or want to, and I don’t drink again until the next time I see him. I’m also told that in having those couple of beers once a month means I still haven’t accepted step 1.
I’m frustrated. I don’t want to go out and get smashed ever again, that is the behaviour I’m done with, and I do want to do the AA program but just because I have 2 beers a month I’m being told I can’t? Why not? It’s all about change and I DO want to change, my behaviours, my habits, my life, but I’m not able to do that unless I give up the 2 beers a month?! WHY?
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