Today is a day I am struggling not to drink. Some days it’s not so bad. I have certainly been no angel the last few weeks. My emotions are up and down, and now I’m just sad because of a recent unpleasant experience. Just made to feel like dirt. And it always happens, and it always happens when I dare to get near anything male. I am just so tired of the loneliness and drinking does alleviate that. And I’m tired of being treated like garbage. I truly don’t get it. How am I supposed to like myself with an entire life of being shamed and ridiculed? My father didn’t give a d***. My mother certainly didn’t. And I don’t seem to be able to find someone who isn’t entirely selfish,cowardly or dishonest. The world is such a hateful, cold place. I don’t know if I’m even interested in trying anymore. People are a sickness.