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    My sobriety date is 7/7/07. So that puts me at… almost 15 months here.

    I have a pattern of relapsing right about now. And by “now” I mean at around 15-16 months of sobriety. I have twice before been sober for over a year and twice before picked up and started using again at about the 16-18 month mark. If you think my numbers are a little funny, I’m of the belief that the relapse happens weeks before I pick up again. By the time I pick up and use again, the relapse is over. I’m not relapsing any more; I’m using.

    It’s good (in a way) that I am aware of this. It means I can take action now even though I feel spiritually fit at the moment. I have been talking with peers and my sponsor about my pattern and asking for extra help during this time so that I can finally break this one aspect of my cycle.

    The second time I had a year of sobriety under my belt, I took it for granted. I thought it was no big deal. I did it before so who cares if I do it again? This time I will take not one day sober for granted.

    Even if I go out tomorrow and drink (which I doubt will happen), nothing can take away the time I have right now. I think that I used to have the attitude where when I did relapse, all the sober time that preceeded it was wasted. I’ve learned that it wasn’t wasted. Every day sober is a gift that can never be lost.

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