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- June 21, 2017 at 12:59 am#43213AnonymousInactive
I hate to be that guy that joins a forum to ask for advice without making any other posts, so I apologize in advance but I would greatly appreciate some advice/help in this situation.
So my story… I started smoking weed when I was 13, which led on to worse things. At first it was psychedelics and a few pills, which led to more drugs, and I started to take more and more pills before I discovered heroin. I spent 3 and a half years from 16 to 19 shooting up before losing my fiance in January 2009 to a suicidal overdose, at which point I quit cold turkey with only support from my best friend quitting with me. It was hard, but what happened was enough to keep me clean for the first few months and by then I was getting things figured out. I joined the Navy to get away from everything about a month after that, and left for boot camp in January 2010. Now I’ve been in for a year and a half, and things have really been going well. Of course I still had cravings, badly at times, but I was keeping it under control relatively easily. Until now.
This past week I lost my grandpa, which sucks but I was handling fine. Then Chris, a good friend of mine, was killed in a car accident Thursday. He had his life straightened out as well and just graduated from UMD. This, combined with some very serious and stressful medical issues my best friend has been going through and stress at work, is taking me back to a dark place and I’m back to remembering how much easier it would be to just use again. The cravings are back so much worse than they have been in a very long time, even after two and a half years of being clean. I know it would ruin my life, particularly since I’m now in the navy, but I’m beginning to just not care. I’m doing everything in my power to fight this but I’m not sure how long I can hold on. I ****** up once already and found a number for a connection about an hour away from me and I deleted it but now I know it’s there. And that just makes it so much harder. I can’t even sleep, all the anxiety and tension and depression and stress of first quitting is back just as badly, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I can go to NA, I have no car and I haven’t disclosed my past drug history to the military. Basically, I apologize for the long post, but does anyone have any advice on how they get through tough times like this?
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