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    Terminal Illness

    I am tired so this will be blunt, sorry. I have been diagnosed with a life threatening illness. I have already had major surgery in order to prevent my death at age 43. I have been on life support 3 times in the last couple years. I don’t even want to get started on the types and amounts of what I had to take in order to keep living. If I am faced with another surgery I am not going to go back to the hospital, I am going to stay at home and wait for God to take me, I have lived enough and it has been a really screwed up ride. Without Morphine, Demerol, Fentanyl, and others I would probably not be here to tell the story, I am grateful to the doctors for keeping me out of at least SOME of the extremely difficult pain. The surgeons have told me that I can die on the spot with no warning and might not make it to a hospital. It’s really ^ucked up but this is my life and until I am gone I have to deal with the drugs and medications. I do not drink anymore because it makes my symptoms worse. Anyway, don’t feel like you have to respond to this, this is not a solicitation for pity, it’s just a little release valve to help me get through another night. It might be difficult to understand if you have never experienced it, I wouldn’t wish this on even my worst enemies. There just seems to be so much pain and hate and anger in this world. Perhaps I will post again at a later date, and will look for other forums to be a part of. If there is something you want to accomplish in your life do it NOW, before your time runs out. Thanks for reading, have a good night.

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